Eden Hazard is thicc.
We’ve noticed it, you’ve noticed it, Roberto Martinez has noticed it.
Belgium’s coach was asked about his star player’s great asset ahead of the Red Devils’ Euro 2020 qualifier against Scotland, and replied: “It [his a**e] is his centre of gravity.
“He uses it to get out of one-on-one situations.”
The sight of the Belgian in full flight is one of football’s great joys.
Of all active players, only Lionel Messi and Neymar could claim to be better dribblers.
Although it could be argued Hazard is the world’s best wriggler.
His ability to squirm through half-gaps, ride challenges, and slip (almost literally) under defenders is the primary reason Real Madrid have just forked out £100million+ for him.
So, is he a world-class dribbler because of his massive a**e?
Sizeable thighs and glutes mean his centre of mass, and therefore centre of gravity, is low to the ground.
This is beneficial as it means he is able to maintain his balance while travelling at speed and change direction with ferocious purpose.
His rear also comes in handy when shielding the ball, giving him that extra barrier to prevent defenders hooking around him.
While his physiology is notable, it is not strictly unique.
Raheem Sterling is cut from the same cloth — he and Hazard are both 5ft 7in tall with prominent backsides.
Diego Maradona is probably the most successful iteration of the stocky dribbler.
Much of Sergio Aguero’s game is based on his low centre of gravity, though much of his mass appears to be in his thighs.
It is, of course, reductionist to suggest Hazard is only good because of his rear padding.
Quick feet, deftness of touch, fast-twitch muscle fibres, decision-making, and plenty more make the 28-year-old one of the world’s most scintillating attacking talents.
But his proportions undoubtedly facilitate his style and exaggerate his technical attributes.
Will coaches and scouts now consider bountiful behinds an advantage when considering a potential talent? Maybe they do already.
Get ready Madrid, football’s Kim Kardashian is coming.