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Let’s have a festive argument about the Premier League Team of the Season at the halfway stage

No Alisson, Kane or Salah... is that right?

You’ve been spoiling for an argument ever since your uncle cheated his way to a controversial Monopoly triumph sometime last night.

Well, it’s Boxing Day now and we’re going to give you an outlet to vent your festive frustrations.


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Today’s fixtures mark the halfway stage of the Premier League campaign.

And so, we have opened ourselves up to mockery by selecting a Team of the Season (so far)…

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Allow us to *justify* our hasty decisions…

KEEPER: Lukasz Fabianski

The easy, lazy option is, of course, Alisson.

However, we reckon Brazil’s No1 has benefited from simply not being Simon Mignolet or Loris Karius.

He has made a huge difference to Liverpool, but he’s largely been solid, rather than outstanding like Fabianski.

West Ham’s first-choice keeper has been busy – only Joe Hart has made more saves at this stage of the season – and you’d dread to think where the Hammers would be without him.

Blowin’ bubbles

Getty - Contributor
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Blowin’ bubbles

RIGHT-BACK: Matt Doherty

Tough one this.

Cesar Azpilicueta and Aaron Wan-Bissaka pushed Doherty close, but we just edged it to the Wolves wing-back.

The 26-year-old Irishman has been one of the unsung heroes of the season — his three goals and three assists has allowed Wolves fans to enjoy their return to the top flight.

The Dublin Dani Alves

Getty - Contributor
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The Dublin Dani Alves

CENTRE-BACK: Aymeric Laporte

Wolves fans may feel Conor Coady deserves a spot in the team alongside Doherty, but we’ve given Laporte the nod.

The Frenchman has been a class act for most of the campaign — though City’s defence have looked more vulnerable in recent weeks.

No recency bias here, thank you very much

Getty - Contributor
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No recency bias here, thank you very much

CENTRE-BACK: Virgil van Dijk

Possibly the standout Player of the Season.

His influence on Liverpool’s title charge can not be underestimated, such is his leadership at the heart of the league’s best defence.

Talismanic, assured, dominant… everything you want from your centre-back.

Lead us into the trenches, Virgil, we trust you

Reuters
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Lead us into the trenches, Virgil, we trust you

LEFT-BACK: Andy Robertson

His inexhaustible work rate is captivating at times.

A constant threat going forward, he uses the width of pitch better than most while delivering threatening crosses in the ‘corridor of uncertainty’ time and time again.

Improving defensively all the time under the stewardship of Van Dijk.

I canny think of a better left-back, pal

Reuters
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I canny think of a better left-back, pal

DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER: Lucas Torreira

Has Fernandinho been robbed? Possibly.

We felt compelled to include Torreira because of the Uruguayan’s endearing industry and typically South American street smarts.

He’s delightfully busy.

Okay, maybe a bit of recency bias…

Getty - Contributor
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Okay, maybe a bit of recency bias…

MIDFIELD: Bernardo Silva

Very few teams could maintain peak performance in the absence of their best player.

But Man City have largely continued on their path of destruction undeterred by Kevin De Bruyne’s injuries because of Bernardo Silva’s brilliance.

The Portuguese playmaker held off challenges from the likes of Andre Gomes, Gini Wijnaldum, James Maddison and… *checks notes* Moussa Sissoko.

Disappointed we didn’t go for Sissoko, the objectively more hilarious option

AFP or licensors
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Disappointed we didn’t go for Sissoko, the objectively more hilarious option

MIDFIELD: David Silva

Still a ridiculously good footballer at the age of 32.

Even in City’s star-studded team, he looks a class above everyone else on the pitch at times.

Fewer players better to watch for those who appreciate subtle mastery and innate technical ability.

El Mago

Alamy Live News
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El Mago

WIDE FORWARD: Raheem Sterling

We’ve left out Mohamed Salah, which immediately feels like a mistake.

Not much between the two in terms of goals + assists at the halfway mark, though Liverpool’s ‘Egyptian King’ is on an upward trajectory in terms of goalscoring form.

We can’t help but feel Sterling’s running is still underappreciated by many, despite the frequency with which he causes defences traumatic problems.

Making haters look stupid for quite a while now

Getty - Contributor
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Making haters look stupid for quite a while now

WIDE FORWARD: Eden Hazard

Van Dijk’s closest rival for Player of the Year — always difficult to compare two players who possess contrasting roles.

Unplayable for the most part, even when he’s been forced to play through the middle due to the relative impotence of Alvaro Morata and Olivier Giroud.

Nine assists and eight goals have put him on course for his best ever Premier League season in terms of pure numbers.

Undeniably world-class.

Unless Real Madrid cut his Prem season in half…

EPA
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Unless Real Madrid cut his Prem season in half…

CENTRE-FORWARD: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

Slightly contentious considering he’s often been deployed as a wide forward.

Harry Kane, Sergio Aguero and Callum Wilson will all be clearing their throat loudly but on this occasion we have resorted to (*puts on Fabian Delph voice*) the basics of football.

Aubameyang is leading the Golden Boot race and, in this age of Roberto Firmino false 9s and what not, there’s plenty to be said for a player who just fills the bloody onion bag.

We also enjoy his photogenic celebration

Getty - Contributor
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We also enjoy his photogenic celebration

Already we can see some potential flaws in our team.

No Spurs players seems like a bit of an oversight, doesn’t it?

Also, what more does RYAN FRASER have to do?

Ah well, it’s too late now…


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