You’ve been spoiling for an argument ever since your uncle cheated his way to a controversial Monopoly triumph sometime last night.
Well, it’s Boxing Day now and we’re going to give you an outlet to vent your festive frustrations.
Today’s fixtures mark the halfway stage of the Premier League campaign.
And so, we have opened ourselves up to mockery by selecting a Team of the Season (so far)…
Allow us to *justify* our hasty decisions…
KEEPER: Lukasz Fabianski
The easy, lazy option is, of course, Alisson.
However, we reckon Brazil’s No1 has benefited from simply not being Simon Mignolet or Loris Karius.
He has made a huge difference to Liverpool, but he’s largely been solid, rather than outstanding like Fabianski.
West Ham’s first-choice keeper has been busy – only Joe Hart has made more saves at this stage of the season – and you’d dread to think where the Hammers would be without him.
RIGHT-BACK: Matt Doherty
Tough one this.
Cesar Azpilicueta and Aaron Wan-Bissaka pushed Doherty close, but we just edged it to the Wolves wing-back.
The 26-year-old Irishman has been one of the unsung heroes of the season — his three goals and three assists has allowed Wolves fans to enjoy their return to the top flight.
CENTRE-BACK: Aymeric Laporte
Wolves fans may feel Conor Coady deserves a spot in the team alongside Doherty, but we’ve given Laporte the nod.
The Frenchman has been a class act for most of the campaign — though City’s defence have looked more vulnerable in recent weeks.
CENTRE-BACK: Virgil van Dijk
Possibly the standout Player of the Season.
His influence on Liverpool’s title charge can not be underestimated, such is his leadership at the heart of the league’s best defence.
Talismanic, assured, dominant… everything you want from your centre-back.
LEFT-BACK: Andy Robertson
His inexhaustible work rate is captivating at times.
A constant threat going forward, he uses the width of pitch better than most while delivering threatening crosses in the ‘corridor of uncertainty’ time and time again.
Improving defensively all the time under the stewardship of Van Dijk.
DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER: Lucas Torreira
Has Fernandinho been robbed? Possibly.
We felt compelled to include Torreira because of the Uruguayan’s endearing industry and typically South American street smarts.
He’s delightfully busy.
MIDFIELD: Bernardo Silva
Very few teams could maintain peak performance in the absence of their best player.
But Man City have largely continued on their path of destruction undeterred by Kevin De Bruyne’s injuries because of Bernardo Silva’s brilliance.
The Portuguese playmaker held off challenges from the likes of Andre Gomes, Gini Wijnaldum, James Maddison and… *checks notes* Moussa Sissoko.
MIDFIELD: David Silva
Still a ridiculously good footballer at the age of 32.
Even in City’s star-studded team, he looks a class above everyone else on the pitch at times.
Fewer players better to watch for those who appreciate subtle mastery and innate technical ability.
WIDE FORWARD: Raheem Sterling
We’ve left out Mohamed Salah, which immediately feels like a mistake.
Not much between the two in terms of goals + assists at the halfway mark, though Liverpool’s ‘Egyptian King’ is on an upward trajectory in terms of goalscoring form.
We can’t help but feel Sterling’s running is still underappreciated by many, despite the frequency with which he causes defences traumatic problems.
WIDE FORWARD: Eden Hazard
Van Dijk’s closest rival for Player of the Year — always difficult to compare two players who possess contrasting roles.
Unplayable for the most part, even when he’s been forced to play through the middle due to the relative impotence of Alvaro Morata and Olivier Giroud.
Nine assists and eight goals have put him on course for his best ever Premier League season in terms of pure numbers.
CENTRE-FORWARD: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang
Slightly contentious considering he’s often been deployed as a wide forward.
Harry Kane, Sergio Aguero and Callum Wilson will all be clearing their throat loudly but on this occasion we have resorted to (*puts on Fabian Delph voice*) the basics of football.
Aubameyang is leading the Golden Boot race and, in this age of Roberto Firmino false 9s and what not, there’s plenty to be said for a player who just fills the bloody onion bag.
Already we can see some potential flaws in our team.
No Spurs players seems like a bit of an oversight, doesn’t it?
Also, what more does RYAN FRASER have to do?
Ah well, it’s too late now…