This is the last list you would want to see your name on.
Last week we sang the praises of the Premier league players who had run the hard miles for their team.
Now it is time to investigate the players who take a more laid back approach to the beautiful game.
Whoever said English football was high pace?
*All figures – Kilometres per 90 minutes (minimum 540 minutes played)
10 Anthony Martial – 9.02km
Martial was definitely not signed to be next Park Ji-Sung.
His shoulders are always down almost as if he had to be dragged from the Old Trafford dressing room.
Yet, with seven goals to his name and many considering him to be a diamond in Man United’s season of rough – we will let him off this one.
Leave the running to the others, right Anthony?
9 Willy Boly – 8.97km
Another Frenchman meanders his way into the top ten.
Boly has been an ever-present for Wolves so far this campaign and he clearly hasn’t found life in the Premier League too strenuous.
After all, Per Mertesacker proved you haven’t got to move much to be a good centre-back.
8 Bruno Ecuele Manga – 8.94km
The first of a few Cardiff players who feature on the list is the hard-hitting Gabonese defender.
Manga has made 132 appearance for the Welsh side with the 30-year-old finding himself at number eight on this lazy-boy list.
Let’s just hope for his sake that Neil Warnock doesn’t see this.
7 Terence Kongolo – 8.93km
Huddersfield’s record-signing joined from Monaco following a season on loan with the Terriers – talk about a change in scenery.
The Dutch defender is paying his club back by being their most docile player in what is proving to be a challenging season for David Wagner’s side.
With just two clean sheets so far for Huddersfield, it might be time for the 24-year-old to start putting in some hard graft.
6 Sean Morrison – 8.92km
Morrison is Cardiff’s captain, so you would expect him to be the literal pace setter for the whole team, right?
That is not the case.
The English defender meanders around the pitch, averaging a just shy of nine kilometres per game.
Morrison is hardly leading by example.
5 Sol Bamba Cardiff – 8.88km
Cardiff’s third and final entry on this list is their colossal centre-back.
Bamba averages five-and-a-half miles per 90 minutes.
It’s Sunday League stuff from the Cardiff man, but he’s actually had a fairly decent season.
4 Jannik Vestergaard – 8.87km
Another record signing and another centre back on the list.
Vestergaard has made a slow start to his time on the south coast.
The Danish defender is clearly too immersed in the sea-side life, treating Premier League games like nice strolls down the beach.
Not ideal from your £20m record signing.
3 Virgil Van Dijk – 8.84km
*Tin hats on.*
This one really was a surprise to us.
Van Dijk is arguably the best defender in the Premier League yet finds himself with a bronze medal on this undistinguished list.
If ever you needed a reminder that there is value in the quality of movement, not just the quantity.
2 Wes Morgan – 8.77km
In at number two is a man who lifted the Premier League title back in 2016. I know, we still can’t believe it either.
They say things move slower in the Caribbean, that is certainly the case for the Jamaican Wes Morgan.
His title-winning defensive partner was fellow snail Robert Huth who is currently without a club. This reunion needs to happen.
Drum roll please…
1 Issa Diop – 8.74
The new signing at the London stadium takes gold.
Six years ago we saw Mo Farah tearing round the track under the same roof that Diop now plays under.
Clearly the Frenchman wasn’t watching.
Despite a good start to the season – Jose Mourinho referred to him as a monster following the Hammer’s win over Man United – Diop still tops the list.
You cant run from these statistics. Not that he would even want to.
READ MORE FROM THE WORLD OF DREAM TEAM HERE:
- Remembering Fulham’s 2019/20 Premier League title-winning campaign
- These results between the same three clubs prove how crazy the Championship is
- What was it like playing with Rivaldo during the latter stages of his sparkling career?
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