By now you’ll have seen the image.
Chelsea coach Marco Ianni giving it the double fist pump in front of Jose Mourinho. Football at its tribal best.
But what was going through the heads of those involved at the exact moment Jose was triggered to his core?
Marcos Rojo
Rojo is clearly still trying to get his head around the mechanics of making toast.
‘Why doesn’t a see-through toaster exist,’ he thinks. Oh but it does, Marcos. It does indeed.
No longer do you have to chomp through the jet black ashes of what used to be Hovis Soft White.
Lee Grant
The life of a third-choice goalkeeper is unforgiving.
It must be hard not to despise the manager when you’re continually in the shadows, not even fit enough to lace the boots of Sergio Romero.
There’s a look of envy in Grant’s eyes. He wishes he was the man boiling Mourinho’s piss. But, alas, he’s not even on the bench.
Juan Mata
Mata is a lover not a fighter.
The prospect of turmoil deeply troubles the Spaniard. This is not what Juan signed up for.
Why can’t everyone just get along?
Eric Bailly
Always fear the silent one. Eric is calculating how he can cause maximum damage with minimal effort.
He’s the first one on United’s bench to stand up. His biceps are tensed and ready for action.
If that man takes one more step towards Mourinho he is in major trouble. On-pitch differences aside, Bailly is still ready to go to war for Jose.
Matteo Darmian
Shock and awe. Matteo can’t quite believe what he’s witnessing.
For so long he’s been ignored by Mourinho. Forced to watch Antonio Valencia fight the urge to drop his shoulder and run the ball out of play.
Now he realises the possibilities are endless. He doesn’t have to keep quiet any more. This is a pivotal moment in Darmian’s career.
Fan #1
This man was checking the cricket scores on his phone when the chaos kicked off.
Now he’s all eyes. He’s ecstatic at the prospect of a bit of rough and tumble. ‘Bloody give him what for,’ he bellows out.
Quite possibly called Tarquin.
Fan #2
Ahh, the humble w*nker sign.
So versatile. So many uses. Perfectly executed by this young man.
*DREAM TEAM DOES NOT ENDORSE SWEARING AT MANAGERS, UNLESS IT’S NEIL WARNOCK
Fan #3
What could possibly be going on over there that’s more interesting than the scene unfolding right under this fan’s nose?
Did Ross Barkley whip a crocodile out of a hat to celebrate? Did Alvaro Morata’s perfectly styled hair finally come a cropper.
We’ll never know.
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