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Mesut Ozil, Luis Suarez, and other football rap albums

Is this a productive use of our time? Hard to say...

INT: Office (DAY)

MY EDITOR: Give me 3,000 words on the complex relationship between Jose Mourinho, Paul Pogba, and Man United’s diverse global fanbase.

ME: Sure, one second, I’m just finishing this piece on imaginary football rap albums…


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Credit to Twitter user @F_Edits who inspired this definitely-not-wasteful use of company time.

I stumbled across his excellent Sergio Ramos rap album graphic while waiting for Goldbridge’s latest video…

6

After seeing Fredik’s effort I instantly wanted more.

And so, for your light entertainment…

LUIS SUAREZ

6

The Taste of You trilogy punctuates a generally aggressive album.

However, the more reflective So Close (featuring Gerrard) shows a more pained side to the Uruguayan wordsmith.

MESUT OZIL

6

Never Trackin’ Back absolutely slaps.

JOHN TERRY

6

Fans are eagerly anticipating the release of lead single Best of Enemies (featuring Wayne Bridge).

Parental Advisory stickers all over this one.

JAMES MILNER

6

Typically imaginative stuff from James here.

An album to fall asleep to.

LIONEL MESSI

6

A star-studded album with some prominent features.

The closing track is what all rap fans have been waiting for their whole lives.


NEXT: 14 rival club badges that will leave you confused, sad and angry for the rest of the day