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Who would win the Ryder Cup of football between Europe and (south) America?

Golf? Sure. But what about football?

Golf’s a mad sport, isn’t it?

Take this stick and twat this little ball into a small hole half a kilometre away in four tries.

Oh yeah, there’s also loads of sand and water along the way.

That’s pretty much it

AP:Associated Press
That’s pretty much it

Footballers love it, the golf.

Mostly because it’s one of the very few things they can spend lots of money on without getting into trouble.

Gareth Bale loves it more than football, he’s got a three-hole course in his back garden — not even kidding.

The Masters reaches it’s conclusion this evening and while we’d obviously love to watch it, Valencia vs Levante kicks off at 9:45pm so…

Anyway, it got us thinking, what if there was a football equivalent of golf’s other *significant* event, the Ryder Cup?

Europe vs America… okay, let’s be honest, South America.

More like the Sneijder Cup… *tumbleweed*

More like the Sneijder Cup… *tumbleweed*

From our limited understanding of the golf original, we vaguely get that some players qualify by virtue of being good and some are selected as ‘wild cards’.

These wild cards are decided by the respective captains — for us, that’s Messi and Ronaldo.

We’ve decided that anyone who made it into FIFA’s ‘The Best’ World XI qualifies for an automatic place.

It’s easier for all of us if we ignore the flawed nature of FIFA’s process.

The captains shake hands before the inaugural Football Ryder Cup™

The captains shake hands before the inaugural Football Ryder Cup™

At this stage, our teams look like this:


  • David De Gea
  • Raphael Varane
  • Sergio Ramos
  • N’Golo Kante
  • Luka Modric
  • Kylian Mbappe
  • Eden Hazard
  • Cristiano Ronaldo (c)

(south) AMERICA

  • Dani Alves
  • Lionel Messi (c)

Captain Ronaldo needs both full-backs and another midfielder.

And would you believe it? He’s snaked former team-mates Dani Carvajal and Toni Kroos in favour of Joshua Kimmich and Kevin De Bruyne.

Virgil van Dijk hasn’t made it because, well, ask FIFA.

Jordi Alba gets the nod at left-back which leaves Team Europe looking like this:

The midfield of dreams

The midfield of dreams

Plenty of tough decisions for Messi to navigate.

Long-time friend and compatriot Sergio Aguero or current team-mate and partner in crime Luis Suarez?

The (south) American skipper chooses to reunite MSN! The Europe defenders will be worried about that.

James Rodriguez edges out Philippe Coutinho in the creative midfield role.

The imperious Diego Godin is flanked by a plethora of Brazilians at the back…

Argentina with just the one representative…

Argentina with just the one representative…

So, who would win?

We’ll leave that up to you.

We’re massively bias in favour of our European brethren (Brexit mishap aside) but MSN could blow any team apart on their day.

Let us know how you see it on Facebook.

Or just keep it yourself and go about your business, whatever really.