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Richard Keys and Andy Gray had a shocking weekend… even by their standards

No, Joe Hart is not 35-years-old...

It was, of course, just banter.

With every day that goes past it becomes increasingly inexplicable that Andy Gray and Richard Keys are paid money to enhance people’s experience of televised football.

Self-proclaimed ‘banter merchant’

Rex Features
Self-proclaimed ‘banter merchant’

Okay, Gray is not half as bad as the dinosaur-in-chief, he’s just become increasingly prone to a distortion of the facts.

The beIN SPORTS presenter was on duty for Burnley’s visit to Wolves at the weekend and at half-time he quickly ran through Sean Dyche’s goalkeeping options.

“You’ve got Tom Heaton, young man,” he said.

“Nick Pope, young man. And you’ve got Joe Hart who is what, 35+? Something like that…”

Old-timer Hart is actually just 31-years-old while ‘young man’ Heaton is 32-years-old.

Alright, so he slipped up.

Everyone makes mistakes, right?

Unfortunately for those who live where beIN SPORTS is the only available broadcaster of Premier League football, such errors have become common place.

At half-time of Watford v Man United, Keys remarked that there had been no sign of Marcus Rashford up until that point.

He left the comment dripping, in an attempt to create a sense of intrigue and tension.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of viewers were aware that United’s 20-year-old forward was suspended.

Must have slipped his mind

Must have slipped his mind

Remember when the lads got all political?

Gray thought he’d bring a bit of topical commentary to the table by referencing Tony Blair.

He looks to his colleague to confirm that Blair was indeed Prime Minister during the 1970s.

Keys, is his infinite wisdom, clarifies the situation by declaring that Blair was in power during the ’80s, 90s’.

Blair was Prime Minister from 1997 until 2007.

You’ve seen the Douglas Costa spitting incident, right?

Pretty grim stuff.

Keys decided to use the incident as a way to send shots at Jamie Carragher and former employers Sky Sports.

And then there was his view on Gary Cahill and Jamie Vardy’s international retirement…

Lessons in morality from Richard Keys — imagine it.

A couple weeks back the pair were laughing at Liverpool’s decision to employee a specialist throw-in coach.

That’s Liverpool, whose full commit to Jurgen Klopp’s ideals, including marginal gains, has produced five wins from five games so far this season.

It’s hardly surprising that two men who, by their own admission, indulge in ‘prehistoric banter’ would mock such practices.

Last month, Keys asserted that Cristiano Ronaldo’s goalless start to his Juventus career reflected badly on La Liga.

Never mind the fact that the five-time Ballon d’Or winner failed to score in his first three league games for Real Madrid last season.

In fact, Ronaldo had one goal to show from his first eight league games in 2017/18.

After a brace against Sassuolo at the weekend, he now has two goals in his first four games in a Juventus shirt.

No doubt Keys will question what this tells us about Serie A any moment now…

Is Ronaldo any good? Let’s just check what Keys thinks before we make up our minds…

Getty - Contributor
Is Ronaldo any good? Let’s just check what Keys thinks before we make up our minds…

Keys and Gray were hot property in their day.

During their peak at Sky Sports, the former was a slick presenter and the latter was undeniably the best co-commentator on the circuit.

But since their unceremonious dismissal, they’ve endured a steep decline.

For Gray it may just be a case of the years taking their toll, understandable.

Sympathy for Keys is harder to come by… you probably know why.

NEXT: 9 incredibly pleasing things about the Champions League this season