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GOLAZOS

Ruben Neves and eight other players who ONLY score incredible goals

Everyone loves a golazo

Ruben Neves doing Ruben Neves things – the Premier League is well and truly back.

His incredible strike against Man United should wrap up the Goal of the Season award already simply by virtue of hitting the crossbar TWICE.

And his latest golazo got us thinking – what other players only score montage-worthy bangers?

RUBEN NEVES

Future Portugal captain

AFP or licensors
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Future Portugal captain

When the ball drops to Wolves’ Portuguese midfield general 30 yards from goal the Molineux crowd bellow ‘SHOOOOOOOOOOT’ and with good reason.

Last season, Neves scored more goals from outside the box than he had touches inside the opposition’s penalty area.

RICARDO QUARESMA

Box Office

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Box Office

The master of the trivela.

Plenty of coaches have probably tried to get Besiktas’ maverick winger to use his left foot more down the years.

But when you can strike a ball with the outside of your foot like Quaresma, you just have to embrace the unorthodox.

NEMANJA MATIC

“Pick that out”

Reuters
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“Pick that out”

The Serbian midfielder doesn’t bother the scorers often but when he does he makes it worth their while.

His annual goal comes with little warning, yet he often saves it for the right moment.

Matic’s long-range shooting looks ungainly but when he connects, the ball takes some stopping.

PHILIPPE COUTINHO

Don’t let him shoot, don’t let him shoot, don’t let him- goal

Reuters
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Don’t let him shoot, don’t let him shoot, don’t let him- goal

Coutinho’s signature goal is like the inverse of Arjen Robben’s trademark.

The Brazilian has a lovely languid swing capable of applying the appropriate whip to deceive even the best keepers in the world.

GRANIT XHAKA

A fair few fly over the bar as well…

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A fair few fly over the bar as well…

Arsenal’s No34 has his faults.

He’s prone to clipping the ball straight out of play when attempting a switch, losing track of runners, and rash challenges which put his side under pressure.

But he doesn’t half give it a thwack.

When Xhaka finds the net, you briefly forget his errors and surrender to the pure joy of thunderbastards.

Shame that feeling doesn’t last longer…

JAMES RODRIGUEZ

Yes yes yes yes yes!

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Yes yes yes yes yes!

 

Oh yes, lovely.

The Colombian playmaker tends to slow down time when he lets fly.

His wand of a left foot produces optimum trajectory for onlookers.

Remember that volley in 2014? Gorgeous, she was.

XHERDAN SHAQIRI

Stoke fans have had to endure some turgid football at times but Shaqiri’s goals always lit up the Britannia (or whatever bet-based name the stadium has these days).

The Swiss international reinforced his commitment to worldies soon after signing for Liverpool with a stunning bicycle kick against Man United in a pre-season friendly.

His back catalogue is strictly Goal of the Month contenders.

ANDRES INIESTA

Don Andres has always been prone to important goals but let’s not underestimate the quality of them as well.

In fact, his World Cup winner may be the least spectacular that comes to mind.

Being a selfless purveyor of beautiful football, it takes something special for Iniesta to decide it is worthy of finishing off himself.

As if to underline this point, his goals since joining Vissel Kobe have been jaw-droppingly special.

KEVIN DE BRUYNE

Worldies for breakfast

PA:Empics Sport
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Worldies for breakfast

Everyone’s favourite strawberry-blonde Belgian is an assist specialist but his goal showreel is quite something.

It’s basically just pings from all angles but made better by subtle touches of brilliance to allow the shooting opportunity.

His disdain for elaborate backlifts makes them all the more divine.