What kind of idiot opens themselves up for criticism by predicting next season’s Premier League Team of the Year now?
This idiot right here!
Firstly, I shall name my team and give justification for each selection.
Then we can argue online about it until it descends into immature name-calling, sarcastic GIFs, and/or mum jokes.
Already you have been triggered by Harry Kane and Mohamed Salah’s absences — this is understandable.
My thinking is that both will suffer from their brilliance becoming normalised.
I anticipate Salah to maintain his status as one of the world’s best, but if he scores, say, 19 league goals, he may be cruelly overlooked come Team of the Year simply because he didn’t repeat 2017/18’s glorious madness.
Similar thing with Kane — we expect 20+ goals and so if others match that tally, they may edge him out by virtue of being a new face.
Is it fair? No, but neither is life.
David De Gea
Best keeper in the world and it’s difficult to imagine that changing.
Managers can prepare for Salah now that they know what to expect, but how do you adjust to a world-class shot-stopper? You can’t.
There’s a distinct lack of quality right-backs in the Premier League at the moment.
Unless a new face comes in during the transfer window for either Man United or Chelsea, I reckon Walker will get the nod again.
His improvement in the second half of the season has gone under the radar somewhat.
Chelsea are due a good season next campaign if their recent history is anything to go by and a back three of Rudiger, Christensen, Azpilicueta has the potential to be airtight, especially if they have a new Italian manager at the helm.
Probably should have chosen Azpilicueta but what’s life without whimsy?
Virgil van Dijk
He’s already got credit in the bank for improving Liverpool’s defence at the back of this season.
Give him a half-capable partner in place of Dejan Lovren and Jurgen Klopp’s side could be genuine title-challengers.
Having sat out a wonderful season for Man City, everyone’s favourite Tweeter will be itching to go come August.
Playing in a Pep Guardiola team, and overlapping a winger of Leroy Sane’s quality, Mendy could help himself to a fair few assists next season.
The Premier League won’t know what hit it.
Liverpool’s new recruit has the potential to grab the league by the scruff of the beck, hold it up against the wall, and steal its lunch money.
Goals, assists, tackles, red cards… box office.
Jose Mourinho is the biggest threat to this particular selection.
However, if Man United sign a suitable Michael Carrick replacement to play deep alongside Nemanja Matic and Pogba is given license to create, you never know what #numbers he could rack up.
Casually, provided ten assists this season, same as Salah, Dele Alli, Riyad Mahrez and Christian Eriksen, and he hasn’t operated at full capacity.
Kevin De Bruyne
Same again please, Kev.
I expect the tidal wave of appreciation for Bobby’s unique brand of football to gain even more momentum.
People will be eulogising over his tackle and interception stats as much as his goals and assists.
Guardiola wants the Brazilian to be his first-choice centre-forward — that’s obvious.
If he stays fit, with De Bruyne, Sane, David Silva and (insert City’s inevitable marquee signing) feeding him all season, Jesus could score 20+ league goals in tap-ins alone.
My early shout for the Golden Boot. Fight me.
If Arsenal’s new gaffer has the balls to play him alongside Alexandre Lacazette all season, Aubameyang could replicate his Bundesliga success on these shores.
He outscored Robert Lewandowski last season, remember?
There you have it.
I look forward to reading your expletive-ridden critiques — find me for your trolling needs.