Imagine the scenes if the Premier League released every player’s salary.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been lighting up MLS since he joined LA Galaxy in March.
It was revealed that the enigmatic striker took a monumental pay-cut to swap Manchester for LA (poor him.)
MLS have released their annual salary report which reveals the wages of every player in the league.
It has thrown up some quite hilarious results.
The report confirms the news of Ibrahimovic’s modest base salary, coming in at just $1,500,000.
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Bastian Schweinsteiger tops the list with a base salary of $6,100,000.08 (can’t forget that eight cents)
Wayne Rooney will soon become the latest household name to head stateside, with DC United reportedly agreeing to pay the Everton man £300,000 a week.
Here’s a few of the standout names currently earning a higher base salary than Zlatan in MLS
Jozy Altidore Toronto FC – Base salary $5,000,000
Sunderland literally paid £13million for this guy.
The American joined the Black Cats with a big reputation having done the business for AZ Alkmaar in Holland.
Altidore struggled however to recapture anything close to that form whilst at Sunderland, scoring just once in 42 appearances for the club.
The striker (if you can even call him that) finally ended his torrid spell in England in January 2015, when he joined Toronto FC in a swap deal which sent Jermain Defoe the other way.
Altidore has rediscovered his goal-scoring touch back in MLS and that is probably where he should stay, unless he fancies making a clown out of himself again.
Carlos Vela Los Angeles FC – Base salary $4,500,000
Vela is now 29-years-old yet it doesn’t look like he’s aged at all since his time at Arsenal. What’s his secret?
The diminutive Mexican always seemed as though he was just on the cusp of something special during his time in the Premier League, but, alas, he never fulfilled his potential.
Vela was farmed out of four loan-spells during his time with the Gunners, including a forgettable stint with West Brom.
He impressed in Spain with Real Sociedad, turning heads alongside his strike-partner Antoine Griezmann.
The Mexican left La Liga for MLS in January 2018, joining Los Angeles FC, the club that has Will Ferrell as an investor. It’s the f***ing Catalina Wine Mixer.
Tim Howard Colorado Rapids – Base salary $2,000,000
Howard was a bit of a Premier League legend back in the day.
Everyone’s favourite American goalkeeper got quite emotional when the time came to leave Everton, his club of ten years.
Now 39, Howard departed Merseyside to link up with MLS side Colorado in March 2016.
The keeper has made over 120 apperances for the USA national side and still boasts an impressive beard.
Bradley Wright-Phillips New York Red Bulls – Base salary $1,500,000
Everyone pretty much thought that his brother Shaun would be the one to go onto have a successful career… turns out we got that one wrong.
Last seen in England at League One side Charlton, the former Man City and Southampton man has been an absolute revelation since moving stateside.
Wright-Phillips has scored 108 goals since his move to New York Red Bulls in 2013.
The 33-year-old is the top scorer in the MLS over the past five seasons and has won the league’s Golden Boot twice. Prolific.
The Englishman is comfortably the club’s record goalscorer, topping the likes of Thierry Henry and Juan Pablo Angel (remember him?) in the scoring charts.
Honourable mentions also go out to this lot who aren’t doing too bad for themselves stateside
Clint Dempsey Seattle Sounders FC – Base salary $1,100,000
Dempsey was a pretty handy player during his time in England.
The American didn’t enjoy himself too much at Tottenham, but was the GOAT at Fulham.
He still insists on wearing No2 as a striker FFS.
Liam Ridgewell Portland Timbers – Base salary $700,000
Not really sure how Ridgewell ended up in MLS, he probably isn’t too sure either.
A strong contender for the most underwhemling Premier League player of all time, the former Birmingham man has been with Portland Timbers since 2014.
Brad Guzan Atlanta United – Base salary $640,008
The professional Doctor Evil impersonator is still working as a goalkeeper on the side.
Guzan has been with Atlanta United since January 2017, after he ended his love affair bang-average Premier League clubs.
We do love the MLS, the ultimate mixing bowl of legends, wasted potential and bloody cringe fan chants.
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