The end of the season is a time of incredible highs and depressing lows for some football fans.
The culmination of the football calendar can see your team crash to relegation leaving you curled up in a ball in tears, or win a cup sparking you to dance down the streets screaming the name of your worst player at the top of your lungs.
But not for me, no.
That’s because I have committed the football cardinal sin of not supporting a club side.
And let me tell you, it makes football a hundred times better.
Don’t believe me?
Well you will when I’m supporting both Man United AND Chelsea in the FA Cup final.
Let’s start way back at the beginning as to why I don’t have a team.
My dad was never a big football fan and didn’t pass on a hereditary obsession with the side he’s supported since he was a boy.
The two clubs most local to me are Millwall and Charlton and they don’t quite carry the glamour to attract a 12-year-old if he has other choices.
So I grew up loving the game, following all the matches, having favourite players without ever really supporting a team.
But now I realise that I am one of the lucky ones.
I can take enjoyment from every single game of football I watch.
There is no anguish when my team concede, no anger as I watch the striker pump the ball over an empty net from five yards out and no sadness as I see the victorious side after the final whistle.
Better yet, I hold no bitterness towards any side in the league.
With the result not having a bearing on my day-to-day life, knowing I won’t be rinsed in the office by the lads if my team loses to a minnow, it means I can take enjoyment from crunch games between rivals as I please.
What I am really trying to say is that I can appreciate all teams without the petty tribal hatred most fans endure.
From Pep Guardiola’s brilliant attacking unit or Jurgen Klopp’s heavy metal symphony to Jose Mourinho’s block defence i can enjoy it all.
The most important factor of not supporting a club is avoiding the crushing heartbreak of watching a team you adore lose all season and then face the embarrassment of relegation.
And of equal importance is not living at the fancy of whichever crazy owner that decides to buy the club.
You know the real faithful football firm lads who will follow West Ham until the end of their days, they spend a shed load going to a stadium they hate, to watch a brand of football which stinks and the only excitement they’ve had all season is only just managing to avoid the dreaded drop into obscurity.
Or take the Cardiff fans, who had a 114-year long tradition of blue being the club’s colour, until Vincent Tan came along and turned everything red – including the Bluebirds‘ badge and the kit – causing widespread anger and bitterness.
I don’t have to spend my evenings making hand drawn protest cards to make my feelings known on a Saturday.
Life’s too short lads.
As any Man United fan will tell you, watching their team draw games 0-0 is almost worst than losing.
And they would know, since Sir Alex Ferguson retired United fans have seen more goalless league games than anyone else with 19 (joint with Southampton).
I feel for the faithful fans who pay through the nose to go and watch their team, including all the extras, to spend their Saturday afternoon in a cold stadium and have to sit through 90 minutes without a goal.
Without the burning desire for one side to win, watching 0-0 draws can actually be entertaining for a neutral.
When it comes to English teams playing in Europe I will be the biggest fan of any of our teams.
Just take Liverpool in the Champions League final – the pride of seeing an English team win the trophy means a lot, but it comes without the pain and sadness of my Liverpool supporting friends if they don’t manage it.
I think that’s what you call the best of both worlds.
Now, there is one drawback which I am willing to admit.
Without the tribal passion that comes with loving a football team you could argue that I don’t get the unbeatable highs of winning trophies, getting promoted or celebrating a last-minute winner in the derby.
That is true.
But how often do those moments come around for 99% of football fans?
I’ll take the perennial hope of England winning a World Cup to experience that glorious feeling over the season-by-season over-promising and under-achievement that most diehard fans go through.
Disagreements in the comments, please.
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