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Summing up every Premier League side’s season in a film title

We've tried to sum up every Premier League side's season in a film title. Any improvements?

We’re desperately running out of ideas to keep this title race interesting thanks to Man City’s dominance.

So how about summing each side’s season in a film title?

Go on then, challenge accepted.


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Man City- The Untouchables

No one has got near Pep Guardiola’s band of gangsters/expensively assembled footballers all season.

While Liverpool made sure they’re not going to go down as The Invincibles, The Untouchables is a pretty strong compromise.

Man United- Inglorious Basterds

Win at all costs, even if you do need to be a bit of a bastard to your left-back at times.

There’s been nothing glorious about United’s campaign, not that Jose Mourinho will care.

Liverpool- Three Kings

Mohamed Salah, Sadio Mane and Roberto Firmino.

Three Kings in any bar they walk into in the red half of Liverpool.

Spurs- Citizen Kane

Citizen Kane… Harry Kane. Get it?

We know, we thought about that one for ages.

Chelsea- The Hangover

From Premier League champions to Thursday night Europa League ties in countries that don’t need freezers.

The Hangover’s been brutal in south-west London.

Arsenal- Groundhog Day

Every season Arsenal get fans excited with a few good performances and an expensive signing before settling into abject mediocrity.

Every season Arsenal get fans excited with a few good performances and an expensive signing before settling into abject mediocrity.

Burnley- Se7en

Again, one where the film title doesn’t need much explaining.

Far less explaining than Sevilla’s players will need when they finds out they’re playing at Turf Moor in the Europa League next season.

Leicester- A Few Good Men

Jamie Vardy, Adrien Silva, Harry Maguire, Riyad Mahrez and Wilfred Ndidi.

All good players. The rest of them? Meh.

Everton- Catfish

We were going to go route one with Shrek, but Wayne Rooney has taken enough abuse this season, especially at the hands of City.

Everton Catfished everyone into thinking they were going to be a Champions League side this season. It hasn’t quite worked out that way.

Bournemouth- Deja Vu

A ninth place finish last season followed up with what is likely to be a ninth place finish this campaign.

Have we been here before?

Watford- The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest

Of course, by ‘The Girl’ we are talking about Richarlison, who’s kicked Watford into gear this season.

When that didn’t work Troy Deeney took the bull by the horns, or Joe Allen by his face.

Newcastle- Les Miserables

Life on the Toon will continue to be miserable until the ‘Cockney Mafia’ leave Newcastle.

No amount of raking Jonjo Shelvey passes can make St James’ Park happy at the moment.

Brighton- Bruno

Brighton have been decent, if slightly forgettable this season.

But the fact that captain, leader, legend Bruno has signed up for another year in the Prem, which will take him to 38, gives us reason for cheer.

West Ham- Fight Club

The first rule of Fight Club is that Mark Noble is the only one allowed to fight.

The second rule of Fight Club is that you’re only allowed to fight when you’re 3-0 down at home to Burnley.

Swansea- The Silence of the Lambs

The Premier League’s only Welsh representatives haven’t had much to sing about this season.

In fact the Swans have been very quiet, unless you’re looking for a weird quote from Carlos Carvalhal.

Huddersfield- Rocky

If Huddersfield avoid relegation this season they’ll have done so only through other clubs being rubbish.

You could say it’s been a Rocky road to survival… nudge, nudge.

Crystal Palace- The Great Escape

Zero points after the first seven games of the season left Palace staring down a rather large barrel.

But when Woy’s in town anything is possible.

Southampton- Apocalypse Now

No one was questioning Southampton’s Premier League survival chances at the start of the season, even in the midst of another Liverpool raid.

Turns out selling your best player and defensive linchpin mid-season isn’t a great idea after all.

Stoke- Superbad

No witty, double-layered puns here. Stoke have been Superbad this season.

Apart from Xherdan Shaqiri. He’s just been bad.

West Brom- Taxi Driver

One Premier League win under Alan Pardew. One ‘alleged’ case of taxi theft.

‘Nuff said.


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