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9 things that will definitely happen when Zlatan Ibrahimovic joins LA Galaxy

Justin Bieber, Donald Trump and Hank Moody all get a taste of the Zlatan

That’s it, then.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic – the self-described lion – has left Man United, bowing out in slightly underwhelming circumstances mid-campaign after making just one Premier League start all season.

But having notched 28 goals in 46 appearances last term – more-or-less carrying the team at times as they secured three trophies – Zlatan will no doubt go down as a cult hero around Old Trafford for years to come.

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But don’t despair, because the 36-year-old is set for a brand new adventure with everyone’s favourite MLS club.

Following the likes of David Beckham, Steven Gerrard and Robbie Keane, he’s seemingly all set to join LA Galaxy.

So it’s time we dusted off our crystal ball and look ahead to the things that will definitely happen when Zlatan moves to the sunny side of the Big Apple.

1 Celebrities will be queuing up to take a selfie with him 

Upon his arrival, Zlatan will be the coolest guy to be seen with, with the likes of Justin Bieber, Tom Cruise and Lewis Hamilton – for some reason – gleefully posting selfies on social media with him. Expect someone to caption “met a GOD today lol”. The dog filter will also be pretty prominent, unfortunately.

2 Every kid in America will want a Zlatan shirt

Coming to a Christmas list near you

Coming to a Christmas list near you

Most parents in America won’t even know what a ‘Zlatan’ is, but it won’t stop them taking their kids to the park decked out in the latest LA Galaxy gear. Even little Barron Trump will be seen donning ‘Ibrahimovic’ on his back.

3 He’ll score an over-heard scorpion kick in his first game


Debut day, and it’s a big one.

In the hotly contested ‘California Clasico’, Zlatan and his new teammates are up against the San Jose Earthquakes.

Picture the scene: Galaxy are losing 1-0 with only minutes remaining on the clock, when Ashley Cole – sprinting down the left-flank like it’s 2005 – unleashes an awkwardly high cross towards the big Swede, who acrobatically leaps into the air and fires home an audacious over-head scorpion kick for the euqliser.

It’s just like Joe Hart all over again, except this time he’ll run to the crowd, remove his shirt and reveal the slogan #DareToZlatan, which of course ends up trending on Twitter worldwide within the hour.

4 His appearance on Conan will be awkwardly cool 


Undoubtedly, the talk shows will be desperate to have the ‘soccer star’ on their couch, with Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel and Ellen all getting the “lions don’t compare themselves with humans” speech, which no one outside of Europe really understands.

5 He’ll frequently appear on Perez Hilton’s website looking a bit like Hank Moody 


Black t-shirt? Check.

Black sports car? Check.

Dark sunglasses? Check.

Coffee-to-go? Oh yes.

6 Donald Trump will claim he never doubted him 


After an explosive start to his Galaxy career, the goals will dry up after a few months as questions continue to circulate over his fitness.

But Donald Trump backs the out-of-form striker, claiming: “Oh, Zlatan? He’s a very, very good player. Believe me, I’ve been told that he’s the best.”

We won’t argue with the POTUS.

7 An image of him arm-wresting with Arnold Schwarzenegger will pop up on Instagram


He’s beaten the devil, so why not the Terminator?

Upon meeting the former governor of California at a charity event, Zlatan will claim he challenged Arnie to a good old fashioned arm wrestle during the after-party. Both claim they won the tussle, but we’ll never know for sure.

8  ‘Zlatan Legends’ becomes a hit cartoon on ABC Kids


You’ve watched the legend in action, you’ve played his awesome mobile game, now he’s on the small screen. And what’s more, the Zlatan action figure become the must-have action figure to buy your kids at Christmas, completely out-selling the poorly marketed Amy Schumer doll.

9 His time in the sun will ultimately end in injury

AP:Associated Press

Such is life, the seemingly invincible cult icon will suffer a season-ending cruciate ligament injury right before the MLS Cup final. Much like the knock he picked up at United, this will prematurely end his time at the club and his time in MLS.

As for the future, who knows? 

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