Why didn’t we just listen to Arsenal Fan TV?
Despite the repeated and earnest warnings of Troopz, DT and co, Arsenal dropped out of the Premier League following a dismal 2018/19 campaign.
We know you know that everyone knows but, just in case you don’t know, let’s have a little dance down memory lane.
There’s only so many times you can watch someone butcher your name and call you Aboomerang before you don’t come back.
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang headed (actually sprinted) to the riches of the Chinese Super League after just six months at Arsenal.
Upon arrival he reportedly said anything is better than being team-mates with Calum Chambers, although he later claimed that he was misquoted and what he said was much worse.
Petr Cech quits two days before the start of the season
Arsenal’s failure to get any defenders in aside from Cardiff City’s Sol Bamba is the final straw for Cech.
He quits two weeks before the first game of the season in order to focus on his burgeoning drumming career.
New first-choice David Ospina passes up the opportunity to take the no.1 shirt, instead taking Premier League winner Richard Wright’s old no.24.
Ospina goes on to concede a record amount of Premier League goals before being replaced by Stuart Taylor (yep, he’s still about) for the last third of the season.
One Frenchman out, no Frenchmen in
Alexandre Lacazette follows Aubameyang out of the Emirates but Arsenal fans aren’t fussed as they’re finally getting Karim Benzema on deadline day.
The hype reaches an all-time high when David Ornstein announces a medical on Twitter, followed by a request not to flood his tweet with David Cross memes.
These requests are ignored.
Then Benzema fails a medical due to a back injury from carrying Cristiano Ronaldo for so many years at Real Madrid. Not metaphorically either, physically carrying him to dinner etc.
Arsenal are forced to go with Danny Welbeck and Chuba Akpom for the entire season which, needless to say, doesn’t go too well.
Wenger finally realises that Granit Xhaka can’t play defensive midfield
Unfortunately Wenger becomes infatuated by the idea of playing Xhaka at left-wing back.
Despite several warnings- namely a shocking pre-season performance against Boreham Wood- Wenger goes ahead with the plan.
Xhaka proceeds to get the runaround from Nathan Dyer in the first game of the season, and every other game after that, although he does score the Premier League Goal of the Season.
Juventus do that thing again
You know that thing where Juventus sign a seemingly average player and he proceeds to become a world beater?
Well that happens again when The Old Lady sign Shkodran Mustafi, much to the bemusement of anyone who’s watched the German during his time at Arsenal.
A domestic treble later and no one is laughing. In fact Arsenal fans are crying. A lot.
Wenger finally walks
Talking of crying, there’s not a dry eye in the house when Wenger leaves, hours after a 3-1 defeat to Fulham confirmed Arsenal’s relegation on the final day of the season.
Everywhere you look there’s tears of joy.
But the mood quickly changes when Neil Warnock takes over, fresh from getting Cardiff and then Millwall promoted.
Warnock takes Arsenal back to the promise land at the first time of trying, at which point he’s promptly handed his P45.
Some things never change.
DIP IN TO DREAM TEAM’S ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE
- Remembering Liverpool’s title-winning heroes of the 2018/19 season
- Remembering England’s 2022 World Cup victory
- The year is 2024 and Wolves have just won their second successive Champions League trophy