Our patience here at Dream Team is alarmingly thin.
So much so that we find current football, all the stuff literally happening this very second, stale and outdated.
As a response we’re looking forward to the NEXT transfer window, even before the current one has slammed shut — impeccable vision.
Through the powers of research, source-tapping, and good old-fashioned guesswork, we’ve predicted the top six Premier League clubs’ biggest transfers of the summer…
Michael Carrick is set to sail off into the sunset and United need a new deep-lying passmaster to join the dots.
Marco Verratti was wanted by Barcelona but they’ve just forked out a small country’s GDP for Philippe Coutinho which leaves the door open for Jose Mourinho.
The 25-year-old Italian recently hired Mino Raiola as his agent, the same man behind the Pogba, Mkhitaryan and Lukaku transfers.
You know it makes sense.
After being out-muscled for Alexis Sanchez by their neighbours, City will have revenge on the brain.
And what better way to hit back at United than by swooping for the Red Devils’ long-time target, Antoine Griezmann?
Sergio Aguero is a goal machine but Pep Guardiola would prefer a more fluid false 9 to spearhead his attack.
How about a swap deal where Aguero returns to Atletico to partner Diego Costa?
Let’s be pessimistic and assume Mesut Ozil will follow Atom and Humber’s handler out the door.
The Gunners are going to need a special talent to fill the creative void.
Arsene Wenger has always admired players from his homeland so who better than Nabil Fekir?
The Lyon star has Arsenal written all over him… and we mean that in a good way.
We envisage a swap deal of epic proportions.
Harry Kane will follow Mauricio Pochettino to the Bernabeu and Real Madrid will relinquish Gareth Bale in return.
Cut your hair and come home, Gareth.
It’s got to be Thomas Lemar hasn’t it?
Naby Keita is set in stone and Jurgen Klopp could do with a partner for Virgil van Dijk but Lemar would add star quality and soften the blow of Philippe Coutinho’s exit.
Monaco’s fetish for selling their players will benefit the Reds in the long run.
Tiemoue Bakayoko has proven to be a disaster signing and even the magical Cesc Fabregas can’t escape the clutches of Old Father Time.
Chelsea need a new midfielder to clip balls onto the head of Alvaro Morata, Edin Dzeko, Peter Crouch, and whoever else they’ll have up top by then.
Miralem Pjanic fits the bill perfectly — Antonio Conte loves to recruit from Serie A and could use his links to Juventus to land the Bosnian playmaker.
Bring those sexy free-kicks to England.
How many of these do we need to get right to not be laughed off the internet? We’d be happy with one…