This is not a drill, we repeat, this is not a drill.
Antonio Valencia has just scored a bloody good goal with his LEFT FOOT.
For years, students of the game believed that the Ecuadorian’s left peg was for standing on and not much else.
Which is probably why Stoke’s 18-year-old left-back Josh Tymon was happy enough to show Valencia inside off the right flank in the ninth minute at Old Trafford.
Man United’s right-back surprised everyone with an emphatic left-foot finish into the top corner from just a few yards inside the box.
Not a bad way to mark your return to the team.
Anthony Martial swept home an equally impressive finish to double United’s lead seven minutes before half-time.
Paul Pogba provided both assists, his eighth and ninth of the season, and has looked a class above since kick-off.
In fact, the £89million man is now level with Kevin De Bruyne as the Premier League’s top assist provider — he’s played 967 minutes fewer than the Belgian playmaker as well.
Struggling Stoke had their moments with the lesser-spotted Stephen Ireland letting off a couple of shots from decent positions.
The 31-year-old Potters midfielder featured in his first starting line-up for the best part of three years.
Phil Jones produced a goal-saving block when a loose ball fell to Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting in the box.
The near scare seemed to reinvigorate United, who dominated the rest of the half, culminating in Martial’s accomplished goal.
Although they did need David De Gea to be at his usual best to deny Xherdan Shaqiri with pretty much the last kick of the half.
Stoke’s new manager Paul Lambert watched on from the stands — nobody wants a trip to Old Trafford for their first game in charge of a new club.
With Pogba in the mood and more space opening up for Martial, things could get worse for the Potters in the second half…
UPDATE: Pogba bossed it and there was a welcome goal for Romelu Lukaku. 3-0.