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SOMETHING IN THE WATER

Why do Crystal Palace only concede worldies?

Crystal Palace don't concede normal goals, with Jermain Defoe's strike adding to a long list of stunning strikes

Jermain Defoe’s goal confirmed something we already knew about Crystal Palace.

They only concede wondergoals. Honestly.

If the ball hits the back of the Crystal Palace net there’s a 50/50 chance that it’ll be a Goal of the Season winner.

Defoe’s goal was just the latest in a long line of golazos.


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Don’t bother diving for those

HANNAH MCKAY
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Don’t bother diving for those

The Impossible Goal- Patjim Kasami, Fulham (21/10/2013)

The arrival of struggling Fulham to Selhurst Park was going as expected when Adrian Mariappa put Palace ahead after seven minutes.

But then Patjim Kasami ran onto Sascha Riether’s pass, controlled the ball on his chest and leathered a Marco Van Basten-style volley past Julian Speroni.

It was all the more impressive given Kasami was at full sprint during the entire move.

The Consolation Strike- Matt Phillips, QPR (14/03/2015)

You know that strange time in a game when the match is won, and there’s just a pleased lull from the home fans?

Well Matt Phillips absolutely demolished that with QPR trailing 3-0 to Palace after 83 minutes.

The winger picked up the ball a good 45-yards out from goal and somehow beat Speroni with pace and dip. It was the most beautifully pointless goal in the history of the Premier League.

We’re as surprised as you are

Getty Images - Getty
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We’re as surprised as you are

The Floor is Lava- Dele Alli, Spurs (23/01/2016)

Harry Kane’s wildly overhit cross was kept alive outside the box by Christian Eriksen.

The Dane nodded the ball to Dele Alli, who took one touch to control the ball and another to swivel around Mile Jedinak’s attempts at a tackle.

His third touch flashed a volley past a hapless Wayne Hennessey, all without touching the floor, and sparked a comeback that saw Spurs win 3-1.

The See Ya- Dimitri Payet, West Ham (02/04/2016)

So convinced was Damian Delaney of Dimitri Payet’s free-kick heading towards Row Z that he shouted ‘see ya’ as the ball sailed over his head in the Palace wall.

A penny for this thoughts, then, when he turned around the see the ball nestled in the back of the net.

We still have absolutely no idea how he did it, and neither does Hennessey.

The Year of the Scorpion- Olivier Giroud, Arsenal (01/01/2017)

Olivier Giroud couldn’t have known what was in store when he flicked the ball to Granit Xhaka a full 70 yards from goal.

His next touch was in the Palace box, scorpion kicking the ball into the goal off the crossbar to complete a quite stunning break.

The goal was named 2017 the Puskas Award winner, and quite rightly so.

The Bicycle- Andy Carroll, West Ham (14/01/2017)

Andy Carroll can blame the man above for not getting more recognition for his shotgun-powered bicycle kick in a 3-0 win.

It rattled in leaving Hennessey wondering what day of the week it was.

The poor lad had only just recovered from Giroud’s strike. Nightmare.