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10 of the most ridiculous things ever said on a five-a-side pitch

After we confessed to someone wanting to behead us during a 5-a-side game, you came in with some priceless replies that didn't make us feel quite so alone...

Five-a-side isn’t always the friendliest of affairs, but being threatened with decapitation is surely crossing the line.

Emotions can take over as you run for what seems like hours around a metal box, frantically kicking the heels of your opponents with the score locked at 7-7.

So we asked the Twitter community what the worst piece of verbal abuse they have experienced is whilst playing the beautiful game, and the replies didn’t disappoint…


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Ben from Coventry risked the ability to speak before tucking away a penalty

This keeper decided to get personal. The FA will be looking into that one…

This opponent has a rather unique taste

Take it as a compliment, Jonny…

Don’t listen to them, Damien

This guy’s getting on a bit

There’s all sorts of things going on in car parks these days…

This unfortunate player nearly lost his manhood after winning an aerial battle

Poor Andy…

And finally, one that really does put the nail in the coffin…

Might as well just give up now, Paul.


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