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Inevitable

7 things that will definitely happen during Arsenal’s Europa League campaign

The Gunners will be playing football on Thursday nights this season and some things are guaranteed to happen

For the first time in over 20 years Arsenal have finished outside the top four.

Gunners fans better make sure they keep Thursday nights free because a Europa League campaign is on the cards.


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And it’s so obvious how it will play out…

1 They’ll play on a near-frozen pitch… and lose

It’s difficult to run in behind the defence when you can’t feel your legs

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It’s difficult to run in behind the defence when you can’t feel your legs

Arsene Wenger will beg for the game to be abandoned but the referee deems the ice rink playable.

The Red Star Belgrade players cope with the conditions just fine, some of them even play in short sleeves despite the blizzard.

But Theo Walcott and co look more icicle than human and they shiver their way to a 2-0 loss.

With temperatures plummeting way below zero it’s hard not to feel sorry for Wenger as he fails to zip his coat up on the sidelines.

2 Their best player will pick up a season-ending injury

Counting the days until his contract expires

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Counting the days until his contract expires

Cologne’s holding midfielder will plough straight through the back of Mesut Ozil, doing some serious damage.

The German playmaker is ruled out for the rest of the season; something he’s secretly happy about.

Alexis Sanchez will send him a get well message from him, Atom and Humber — the Chilean doesn’t play on Thursdays.

3 They’ll record their lowest attendance for years

PICTURED: The Emirates two minutes before kick-off in all their Europa League fixtures

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PICTURED: The Emirates two minutes before kick-off in all their Europa League fixtures

After an underwhelming start to the campaign hardly any fans will turn up to the Emirates to watch their club limp to a 1-0 win over BATE Borisov.

Jeff Reine-Adelaide celebrates his first Arsenal goal in front of 17,000 unenthused fans.

In his post-match interview, Wenger will say it was a ‘great night’ but won’t answer any questions regarding the rumours he wants sign Ligue 2’s third top-scorer in January.

The truth is in his eyes.

4 One of their group games will be postponed due to weather conditions

Perfect weather for diving

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Perfect weather for diving

Torrential rain turns Atalanta’s pitch into the Atlantic Ocean and Arsenal’s round of 32 first leg is postponed.

UEFA decide to reorganise the fixture for the next day.

Exhausted from their Friday afternoon draw, the Gunners are nowhere near 100% for the north London derby on Sunday.

Spurs thrash them 5-0.

5 Arsenal Fan TV explores strange new ground

“You see that Acropolis, fam? I’d rather have that in charge than Wenger, blud!”

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“You see that Acropolis, fam? I’d rather have that in charge than Wenger, blud!”

Troopz’s eight-minute rant on the streets of Athens goes mega viral.

Fuelled by cheap ouzo, the popular YouTube channel releases their most memorable set of videos yet.

Two weeks later DT apologises for his comments about Nacho Monreal.

6 There will be a penalty shootout

Yes! We beat Atalanta after 210 minutes (plus penalties), we’re so good!

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Yes! We beat Atalanta after 210 minutes (plus penalties), we’re so good!

1-1 in the second leg at home to Atalanta means a shootout to decide which team progresses.

The quality of the spot-kicks are abysmal with the English trio of Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Danny Welbeck all missing.

Luckily, David Ospina guesses correctly more often than not and spares his team-mates’ blushes.

7 And finally… Bayern Munich will knock them out

Different competition, same result

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Different competition, same result

Incredibly, the Bavarian giants fail to make it out of the ‘group of death’ in the Champions League and enter the Europa League at the round of 32.

Naturally they draw Arsenal in the round of 16 and beat them 5-1 in both legs… again.

And that’s how it all ends.

Classic Arsenal.

⚽CONTE OUT: The bookie's view⚽