Granted this may be the strangest headline you read all day, but bear with us.
Was Toni Kroos born in the wrong country?
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Because we’ve noticed something quite bizarre about the midfield maestro in recent years.
He’s an Englishman at heart.
Here’s seven reasons why our theory is credible beyond all doubt…
1 His taste in music revolves solely around cheesy British Pop artists
Just look at the smile on his face after handing his hero Olly Murs an award…
2 He absolutely loves the Darts
3 He spends any spare minute he can get in London
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4 He misses penalties
Oh yes, Kroos really must be a full blown Anglo-Saxon because he’s not as clinical from 12 yards as he should be.
The midfielder had a penalty saved by AC Milan wonderkid Gianluigi Donnarumma back in a pre-season friendly in August 2015.
That’s not particularly German, is it Toni? (if that’s even your real name)
5 The British Grand Prix is a regular stomping ground
6 He absolutely loves Karaoke
‘OOOOOOH COME ON EILEEEN!’
7 This salty banter aimed at the Brazil team
While online trolling isn’t an exclusively quintessentially British thing, this jibe to the ribs at Brazil’s expense caused a bit of a stir because it reportedly upset Real Madrid team-mate Marcelo.
CONCLUSION
He’s undeniably, irrevocably, indisputably a British sleeper agent from Brentwood whose actual name is Tony Cruise.