Granted this may be the strangest headline you read all day, but bear with us.
Was Toni Kroos born in the wrong country?
Because we’ve noticed something quite bizarre about the midfield maestro in recent years.
He’s an Englishman at heart.
Here’s seven reasons why our theory is credible beyond all doubt…
1 His taste in music revolves solely around cheesy British Pop artists
Just look at the smile on his face after handing his hero Olly Murs an award…
2 He absolutely loves the Darts
3 He spends any spare minute he can get in London
4 He misses penalties
Oh yes, Kroos really must be a full blown Anglo-Saxon because he’s not as clinical from 12 yards as he should be.
The midfielder had a penalty saved by AC Milan wonderkid Gianluigi Donnarumma back in a pre-season friendly in August 2015.
That’s not particularly German, is it Toni? (if that’s even your real name)
5 The British Grand Prix is a regular stomping ground
6 He absolutely loves Karaoke
‘OOOOOOH COME ON EILEEEN!’
7 This salty banter aimed at the Brazil team
While online trolling isn’t an exclusively quintessentially British thing, this jibe to the ribs at Brazil’s expense caused a bit of a stir because it reportedly upset Real Madrid team-mate Marcelo.
He’s undeniably, irrevocably, indisputably a British sleeper agent from Brentwood whose actual name is Tony Cruise.