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Arsenal admit they’re only signing players with long names to make money off shirts

Arsene Wenger is planning to make Arsenal major money by building a squad containing Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Alexandre Lacazette, Ainsley Maitland-Niles, Jeff Reine-Adelaide and Konstantinos Mavropanos

Arsenal are only signing players with long names in a bid to boost their budget.

An unofficial insider claimed that Arsenal’s bid for Pierre Emerick-Aubameyang is a clever ploy to make cash off kits.

With each letter on the back of a shirt costing a couple of quid, Arsene Wenger has seen a gap in the market and a chance to generate plenty of money for Arsenal.


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Unofficial insider Lee Satchell said: “Wenger has been on the lookout for a double-barreled player ever since he let Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain go.

“So when the chance to sign Aubameyang appeared he jumped at it.

“He’s trying to persuade him to wear Pierre-Emerick on his shirt instead of Aubameyang, just to make sure the profits are maximised.”

“If you look at who Arsenal have been signing recently it all makes sense.

“Konstantinos Mavropanos. Henrikh Mkhitaryan. Alexandre Lacazette. Then there’s the players he’s promoted to the first-team.

“Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Jeff Reine-Adelaide are both there for one reason and one reason only.

The more characters the better

Getty Images - Getty
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The more characters the better

“Wenger is paying close attention to Julio Pleguezuelo, Emile Smith-Rowe and Vontae Daley-Campbell in the academy.

“He’s also looking to tie up a deal for Kevin Theophile-Catherine. He’s an unheard of Frenchman with a massive name. It doesn’t get better for Wenger.

“But the big one is Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink. If Wenger can talk him out of retirement he’ll be over the moon.”

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