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TWO LEFT FEET

Alvaro Morata ‘set for surgery’ to have feet replaced with two heads

The Chelsea striker is reportedly pushing for the groundbreaking operation after recent struggles in front of goal

Alvaro Morata has reportedly asked specialists about having surgery to have both his feet replaced with two heads.

The Chelsea striker is pushing for the groundbreaking operation to go ahead after some questionable recent performances in front of goal.


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This will make Morata a million times more clinical

5
This will make Morata a million times more clinical

Morata has scored 60% of his goals this season with his head, including six from Cesar Azpilicueta crosses.

But the Spaniard has looked far from convincing with the ball at his feet, none more so than in the 2-2 draw at Arsenal on Wednesday night when he squandered two simple one-on-one chances.

“Why won’t these god damn things work?”

Reuters
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“Why won’t these god damn things work?”
EPL_ngn FT Arsenal 2 - 2 Chelsea 2018-01-03 22:55:41

And, according to Chelsea's unofficial head transplant expert Lee Satchell, that performance was the last straw for Morata.

"You know the phrase 'he's got two left feet'? Well Alvaro might as well have no feet whatsoever," said Satchell.

"He's persisted for six months now but that Arsenal game really tipped him over the edge."

A night to forget

Reuters
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A night to forget

Satched added: "Alvaro is Champions League with his head but Championship with his feet so it's the right time to take drastic action.

"It worked for that three headed dog in Harry Potter, so why not for him?"

The revolutionary move has reportedly interested Peter Crouch, who is looking for the opposite operation.

Crouch has never been blessed with heading ability

Rex Features
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Crouch has never been blessed with heading ability

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