1 He captained Colombia at three World Cups
2 And he once led them to a thumping 5-0 win over Argentina
It was a 1993 World Cup qualifier. And just look at those goalscorers.
3 He’s best mates with him
4 And enjoys a Pina colada or two with him
5 He was always Mr Popular in Europe
Where he won a French Cup with Montpellier and played 17 times for Valladolid
6 He went to the MLS before it was cool
Where he pretty much ran things for the Tampa Bay Mutiny.
7 Where they loved him so much they gave him his own national day
During which, we shit you not, players from opposition teams wore Carlos Valderrama wigs before kick-off.
His numbers there were impressive. 114 assists in 175 games to be precise. Eat that Mesut.
8 He was twice South American Player of the Year
In 1987 and 1993.
9 And finally… his hairstyle was so iconic, his own wife copied it
Just imagine how much detangler was used in that house.