The 17 best tweets from the funniest new team in Sunday League

jlloyd

6th September 2016, 6:20 pm

Updated: 25th April 2017, 11:07 am

We’re handing in our Sky Sports subscription.

Because from now on we only love one team…

Heybridge Gardens FC.

They *appear* to be the perfect embodiment of everything that is good about Sunday League.

Their motto is “These Ugly Dogs” and their players use their phones to cash out their accumulators rather than ring for a badly needed ambulance.

We’re not sure who they are or where they play. But we’re smitten.

1

Hedge behind the goal Groundsman Andy put in has been confiscated by the police, saying it's Marijuana. You may wanna lay low for a bit mate

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 22, 2016

2

Never nice seeing an ambulance.
Opposition player hurt after a 4 footed tackle from Paul and Barry. In their defence he did have a top-knot

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 17, 2016

3

When we need an ambulance we expect more fans to volunteer their phone. Doesn't matter if you might need to cash out your accumulator or not

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 17, 2016

4

Bit of a dull game this one. The spectators seem more concerned with trying to get the two hedgehogs they've just found to fight each other

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 16, 2016

5

Kev returns today after that ketamine spiking incident. Says he's sorry, but let's not bench him alone with the water bottles again anyway

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 9, 2016

6

Just received an amazing fan-made poster for HeybridgeFC 1sts striker and club legend Billy West! We love it! pic.twitter.com/HPTq332Uaz

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 1, 2016

7

Can we remind parents that the club and local police suggest a four-can maximum for spectators watching their children this weekend.

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) March 25, 2016

8

Goalkeeping masterclass by Tony Benson (Grimsby, Welling) tonight at the club. First of 6 sessions, only £120 pic.twitter.com/PPrVKofTnB

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) March 21, 2016

9

Police have found cocaine stashed behind the mobile library. Severely hope no HGFC players are involved in this. Also… a mobile what?! 😂

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) March 19, 2016

10

For wives & girlfriends, note it is NOT club policy that you sit with Andy & the groundsmen at games, despite what you may have been told

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) March 15, 2016

11

1-1 here at the break. Have to mention the Heybridge support who’ve been passionate as ever pic.twitter.com/VgDnKRADFq

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 15, 2016

12

Minutes away from kick-off. Heybridge players are finishing their spliffs, the Gypsies have finished saying the Lord’s Prayer

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 15, 2016

13

Unbelievable, someone's done a poo in the men's shower and tried to toe the turd down the plug hole, is this what Heybridge FC has come to!?

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 14, 2016

14

Just done a pitch inspection and we've got a bit of a problem, some gypsies have set up camp in one of the goalmouths

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 11, 2016

15

Kev returns today after that ketamine spiking incident. Says he's sorry, but let's not bench him alone with the water bottles again anyway

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 9, 2016

16

Congratulations to poll winners Mario & Carmela of 'Signor Whippé'. Our new ice cream partners for years to come ☀️🍦 pic.twitter.com/L1hc6DUsIz

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 10, 2016

17

JESUS! IT'S ON FIRE! Two turkish men on a moped just rolled up, molotov'd & scarpered. Anybody get a licence plate? pic.twitter.com/CUpyIFOj1J

— Heybridge Gardens FC (@HeybridgeFC) April 10, 2016

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The 17 best tweets from the funniest new team in Sunday League

Heybridge Gardens FC.

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