Thank god we won’t have to go through that for another four days.
England finally won a World Cup game on penalties for the first time ever against Colombia and it’s almost unbelievable.
Did Jordan Pickford really save Carlos Bacca’s penalty? Was it all just a very lucid dream? Nope, you better believe it.
But throughout the game the Colombian team used every dirty trick in the locker to try to rile the Three Lions.
Nearly all the South Americans had a special knack of avoiding the referee’s (and VAR’s) eyes while yapping, headbutting or general underhand tactics.
It’s safe to say there should have been at least one red card in Moscow last night.
But did you spot Colombia’s most blatant attempt to disrupt England?
Carlos Sanchez thought he was doing some kind of rodeo when he brought Harry Kane down with 55 minutes gone.
After the ref blew the whistle several Cafeteros players ran over to harangue the decision, but while all that was going on Johan Mojica was doing something very, very sneaky.
While the players were surrounding the ref Mojica was slyly digging his studs into the penalty spot in order to see Kane fluff his lines.
After an eternity of Colombia arguing with the official Mojica’s work was done and the spot was wrecked.
But nothing distracts our ice cool hero Harry Kane, nothing.
He kept focused throughout the melee and slammed the ball home, wrecked spot or not.
But that wasn’t the only underhand plan the Colombians had.
All game they were snarling at England and doing their best to antagonise Sir* Gareth Southgate’s team. *pending.
There was Wilmar Barrios’ clear as day headbutt on Jordan Henderson, that the referee actually saw but only deemed worthy of a yellow card.
From there on it was death by a thousand minor fouls.
With the Colombians taking every opportunity to take the sting out of England’s attack.
It was all one step below cheating, there I’ve said it.