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11 reasons football definitely ISN’T coming home

England? World Cup? Let's talk a few things through...

1 England haven’t got a decent goalscorer

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2 The fans don’t believe in the manager — not one bit

3 In fact, football isn’t really that big in England anyway

4 There’s no team spirit

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5 Everyone knows England are s**t at penalties

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6 Set-pieces? Forget about it…

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7 The squad is ancient — forget your walking frame, granddad?!

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8 The fans out in Russia are keeping their heads down

9 Thibaut Courtois was right, Jordan Pickford is just too short to be a keeper

10 What’s the point? The Germans will knock them out at some point

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11 And most importantly, England isn’t even football’s home…

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