Predictably bitter — well done.
It’s quite clear Liverpool winning the league would be apocalyptic for many, many people.
But let’s see just how depraved you are…
HOW DO YOU WANT LIVERPOOL TO BOTTLE IT EXACTLY?
A total omnishambles of increasingly farcical defeats. Battered by a Cenk Tosun-inspired Everton in the derby. 5-0 loss to Burnley at home with Crouchy reducing Virgil van Dijk to actual physical tears. Consecutive defeats to Cardiff and Huddersfield with the winners in both games being scored by players you’ve never heard of before. Outplayed by Newcastle as Rafa Benitez performs an instantly iconic heel turn by goading the Liverpool fans and unveiling a I BELONG TO PEP undershirt (now available at Sports Direct). They even miss out on the last Champions League spot — a proper capitulation of Fawlty Towers proportions.
The dangled carrot. Liverpool are literally seconds away from ending their L O N G wait for a Premier League crown when all of a sudden, Van Dijk slips. Raul Jimenez bears down on goal and slots his finish past Alisson but hang on, it’s hit the post! Dejan Lovren is there to clear under no pressure… OH MY GOD! He’s sliced it into the roof of his own net! The Reds go straight down the other end and Roberto Firmino finds Mohamed Salah in the box. It’s a mirror image of the AGUEROOOO moment, but instead of burying it, he twats into row V.