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Real Madrid

Real Madrid

ROJA

Valverde's red card shows the beautiful game has to get a little ugly sometimes

Frederico Valverde's red card in the Spanish Super Cup gave Real Madrid the chance to beat Atletico Madrid on penalties

EFFICIENCY

In celebration of Real Madrid and Germany's achingly cool rhythm guitarist

SHAMBLES

If Marcelo is the best left-back in the world then I'm [INSERT SUPERIOR NAME HERE]

GOLF SALE

Gareth Bale should use Arjen Robben as the blueprint for his much-needed revival

BELLISSIMO

James Rodriguez X Napoli is a beautiful throwback to a simpler time

TEASER

Test your knowledge with the Ultimate Real Madrid Goalscorers Quiz

BOGOF

Gareth Bale, Isco, and the other 15 players on Real Madrid's 'For Sale' list

DISRESPECT

It's a disgrace that Real Madrid still don't have a women's team

THICC

Okay, it's time we addressed Eden Hazard's massive bum

DRAGON

Gareth Bale deserves to be remembered as more than just Real Madrid's 'golfer'

TWEENER

Harry Kane can be the world's best 9.5 once Karim Benzema relinquishes the crown

GAFFER

Zidane's return could spell more dark days for Thibaut Courtois at the Bernabeu

TUG OF WAR

Real Madrid and Barcelona's power struggle should be entertaining, not toxic

FOUND

Ajax's win against Madrid is as much a victory for their scouts as it is the academy

LEGEND

Frenkie de Jong is ALREADY a Barca hero after Champions League performance at Madrid

FIFA STREET

Ajax have turned the Bernabeu into their playground to stun Real Madrid

ADIOS?

What is upsetting Gareth Bale so much at the moment?