VAR officials have ruled that Zinedine Zidane’s headbutt on Marco Materazzi in the 2006 World Cup final is not a red card offence.
The decision from Stockley Park came moments after Giovani Lo Celso escaped an early bath after attempting to amputate Cesar Azpilicueta’s leg below the knee.
A flustered David Coote decided to give his unprompted verdict on the 14-year-old incident in an attempt to prove VAR’s effectiveness.
An anonymous source at Stockley Park told us: “Watching the incident in real time, we didn’t feel Zizou’s headbutt was that bad.
“Okay, he left a chunk of his skull in Materazzi’s lungs, but we ultimately decided to stick with the referee’s original decision… even though he didn’t see the incident.
“We are aware that people want consistency so if Lo Celso’s stamp isn’t in red card then, well, what is?
“We don’t believe VAR should be used to dismiss players who have committed GBH.
“The technology was actually introduced to disallow all those goals that are scored by players whose toenails are offside.”
Incidentally, the 14-year gap between incident and decision is slightly shorter than the average wait for a VAR review since it was implemented in the Premier League.
In regards to Chelsea v Spurs at Stamford Bridge, when asked why Michael Oliver wasn’t advised to consult the pitch-side screen, our source said: “The what? Oh yeah, I forgot we had that.
“In fairness, all the lads at Stockley Park were ironing our Liverpool shirts and scarves at the time so we weren’t really paying attention.”
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