Night descends over north London. Jose Mourinho lingers anxiously in a dark alleyway as if on appointment. A mysterious figure emerges from the shadows, recognisable only by an immaculate beard and chiseled jawline. “What’s the job?” asks the reticent character in a charming French accent.
Olivier Giroud might not be the man who Spurs fans want this January, but he’s exactly the gun for hire they need.
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Hear me out.
Harry Kane’s injury has left Spurs in the lurch more than their fans and Jose Mourinho will want to admit.
We won’t go as far as to call them the ‘Harry Kane team’, because Pep Guardiola has kindly already done that for us.
But, is it even an alternative to the two-time Premier League Golden Boot winner that Spurs so badly crave?
Son Heung-min is a more than capable deputy for Kane and will take up the mantle effortlessly, yet something is still missing from Mourinho’s attacking ranks.
Spurs don’t need a Kane replacement, they need a Fernando Llorente replacement.
The Spaniard was a vital cog in Mauricio Pochettino’s machine that reached the Champions League final last season.
In fact, it was Llorente’s goal in the quarter final against Man City that provided the most memorable moment of their campaign, that is until Lucas Moura did a madness™ against Ajax.
Llorente’s majesty came in his acceptance, almost willingness to play second/third fiddle behind Spurs’ marquee pair.
It’s safe to say the club have rued their decision to not renew the Spaniard’s contract last summer.
The art of finding a striker who’s happy to play the role of backup is something very few clubs have managed to achieve.
Liverpool are perhaps the Premier League’s shining example of one that has conquered this unicorn feat, with the excellent Divock Origi seemingly content with 20 minute cameos from the bench and the odd humiliation of Jordan Pickford.
This is where Giroud comes into the picture.
Far from finnish as he’s only 33 years old, the potential of snapping up a ready-made Premier League striker, soaked in experience both domestically and at international level, should have Daniel Levy doing all sorts of dances.
78 Premier League goals, numerous honours and one scorpion kick is all the evidence you need to realise what Giroud brings to the table.
The Frenchman, who has barely seen the light of day for Chelsea this season, is almost certain to make a cut-price move this month.
The forward has already crossed London once in his career when he left Arsenal for Stamford Bridge and the prospect of him completing a trilogy of capital clubs cannot be ruled out.
Giroud’s departure from the Gunners in January 2018 was provoked by the arrival of Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang which, partnered with Alexandre Lacazette’s good form, left him third in line at the Emirates and starved of minutes.
He joined the Blues to better his chances of starting for France at the World Cup that summer, yet made the move knowing that opportunities in west London would still be at a premium due to Alvaro Morata’s stranglehold on the sole striker berth.
However, Chelsea had just parted with Diego Costa and needed suitable backup.
Two years later and the stars have aligned to leave Giroud in an all too familiar position.
With a Euros on the horizon and Spurs in need of a short-term fix, it’s a move that suits all parties.
In fact, you could say Spurs are the ones more in need of his services, as Giroud could be banished to the dunes of Tatooine and Didier Deschamps would still have him leading the line over Antoine Griezmann.
Inter Milan are said to have held talks with the Frenchman in a move that would reunite him with Antonio Conte.
If a chance still remains for Spurs to gazump any deal then Levy’s focus should be on doing just that.
A striker cut from the same cloth as Llorente in terms of size and skillset, he’ll provide the missing ingredient that Spurs have lacked since the Spaniard’s departure.
Be it either a one or two-year deal for Giroud, he’ll offer the perfect backup in Kane’s absence, a plan B to work alongside Son and p**s off Arsenal fans in the process.
That’s a win-win situation.