If I had a tin hat it would be tentatively placed on top of my head right now.
Because this kind of thing will always stir debate and trigger some disgruntled fans.
They know who they are.
Anyway after the Boxing Day fixtures we will be exactly halfway through the Premier League season. August only felt like yesterday, didn’t it?
We’ve seen some players produce stellar performances on a weekly basis, but who would receive the big individual awards if they were handed out this week?
Player of the Year: Eden Hazard/Virgil van Dijk
It really is a straight toss up.
Hazard keeps denying any links with Real Madrid but surely he’ll eventually grow tired of carrying this Chelsea team.
The brilliant Belgian has been involved in 49% of the Blues’ goals and has admirably just got on with it when asked to fill in for the hapless Alvaro Morata or Olivier Giroud up top.
Van Dijk’s impact on this Liverpool side since his arrival can’t be stressed enough and he’s the main reason they’re genuine title contenders rather than believers.
Before he arrived the Reds had conceded 34 goals in their previous 32 games, since it’s been 17 in 32. Nobody is mentioning his world record £75m price tag either.
Honourable mentions: Raheem Sterling, Harry Kane, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang
Young Player of the Year (Under 23): Richarlison
I admittedly was one of the many who predicted doom and gloom for Richarlison after Everton forked out £50m to sign him in the summer.
He did sweet FA for Watford after November last season and I just felt he was a massive show pony who went missing when the going got tough.
He’s proved me – and many others – very, very wrong with a brilliant start to life on Merseyside.
Everton have made some astute signings but without Richarlison they look devoid of all composure and guile in attack.
Honourable mentions: Leroy Sane, James Maddison, Joe Gomez
Best signing: Lucas Torreira
Arsenal finally have the tough tackling little s*** in midfield they’ve been crying out for pretty much since Patrick Vieira left.
The Uruguayan has taken to Premier League life like a duck to water and has scored memorable goals against Spurs and Huddersfield too.
He’s known as the ‘Mighty Insect’ in Uruguay and you can see why.
Honourable mentions: Alisson, Xherdan Shaqiri, Felipe Anderson
Best goal: Andros Townsend
When you consume a lot of football – and I mean a lot of football – very few goals take your breath away anymore.
But it’s fair to say, given the incomprehensible context of the game, Townsend’s goal against Man City made me nearly choke on my drink.
Crystal Palace delivered the kind of result which reaffirms why fervent away supporters do what they do and Townsend’s volley will be replayed for years and years.
Sweet as a nut.
Honourable mentions: Aaron Ramsey (v Fulham), Gylfi Sigurdsson (v Leicester), Daniel Sturridge (v Chelsea)
The Zero to Hero award: Moussa Sissoko
Just a couple of months ago Sissoko was more meme than machine.
But the ungainly Frenchman is now a man transformed and the heartbeat of a Spurs side knocking on the title discussion door.
He lacks composure at times but makes up for it by covering every blade of grass and has to be acknowledged for turning his career around.
Honourable mentions: Robert Snodgrass, David Luiz, Divock Origi
- Let’s have a festive argument about the Premier League Team of the Season at the halfway stage
- Mesut Ozil is suffering the same fate most great playmakers eventually go through
- Who is the best teenager in world football now Kylian Mbappe has turned 20?
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