The hardest working man in modern football- Man City’s open-top bus driver- is warming his engine up once again.
But if the thrill of Citeh pulverising their way to a fourth Premier League title via intricate back-post finishes doesn’t do it for you, divert your attention instead to the golden boot race.
The 2018/19 Premier League campaign is 13 games old and already 13 players have scored at least six goals. Numbers to make flat-earthers who swear by horoscopes believe bad luck is just around the corner.
This season’s golden boot race has a little something for everyone.
Up front, the Premier League thoroughbreds are setting pace. Sergio Aguero and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang lead the way with eight goals, closely followed by Harry Kane on seven.
These are forwards for whom finding the back of the net has long been a formality.
While you were messing around with Lynx Africa and those weird gunky aliens, they were perfecting their finishing in the back garden.
Aguero was scoring goals as a 16-year-old in Argentina while Kane and Aubameyang have matured into world-class strikers via similarly cosmopolitan loan spells at Leyton Orient and Monaco.
Keeping surprisingly good pace with the top flight thoroughbreds are the Premier League’s old fashioned carthorses in Glenn Murray and Aleksandar Mitrovic- scorers of seven goals apiece.
They play with constantly pained expressions, spend the entire game berating full-backs for not putting the ball in the box quickly enough and still wear black boots.
These are the forwards for whom time stood still. The dimensions of the goal never change, no matter how many new Instagram updates are released.
From the old school, we move to the new school.
Wingers used to hug the touchline getting chalk on their boots until the death of 4-4-2 forced them inside to scavenge for goals.
Now Raheem Sterling, Eden Hazard and Salah- all of whom have scored seven goals this season- as well as Sadio Mane and Anthony Martial, scorer of six goals, are potent goalscoring weapons.
Good news for fans of entertaining football, terrible news for full-backs.
No self-respecting golden boot race would be complete without a Brazilian.
Scrap that, no Brazilian has scooped the golden boot award during the Premier League era.
Aiming to right the wrongs of Afonso Alves, Ilan and Mario Jardel is Everton’s Richarlison, scorer of six league goals to date this season.
The 21-year-old, who’s also scored three times for Brazil this campaign, celebrates like a pigeon every time he finds the back of the net. What’s not to love?
I know what you’re thinking. We’re missing a feel-good story to really set the golden boot race off.
Step forward Callum Wilson.
The Bournemouth striker has come back from two cruciate ligament injuries to score six league goals this season as well as making his England bow.
Even if he never gets another England call-up, Wilson can retire happily safe in the knowledge he’s in the David Nugent One Cap One Goal club. That’s the stuff you dream of as a child.
Finally, Gylfi Sigurdsson.
We couldn’t think of a witty group to stick the Icelandic in, so he’s all on his own.
With six strikes already this the Everton midfielder is only eight goals away from Eidur Gudjohnsen’s best tally for a Premier League season.
Can we get an Icelandic clap at the back?
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