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How much should you actually hate your club’s rivals?

We can all agree that RAMOS KIEV shirt man is doing it wrong, but where's the line?


That’s the go-to comment these days.

It’s usually a futile effort to diffuse a viral tweet gently mocking the triggered scroller’s beloved team.

Most the time, it’s an admission of defeat — fair enough mate, I’ve got nothing to say to that so I’ll just label this off-hand joke evidence of an unhealthy fixation.

Sometimes though, it’s the only appropriate response…

Wow. Just, wow

Wow. Just, wow

That appears to be a fully-grown man wearing a Man United shirt with ‘RAMOS 18 KIEV’ on the back.

This can only be a reference to Sergio Ramos injuring Mohamed Salah in the 2018 Champions League final, an act that helped Real Madrid defeat Liverpool.

Imagine the time, effort and money (real-life, hard-earned money) that went into this abomination.

Obviously it’s a joke, a dig at Liverpool fans.

Girl brings two plates of full English over with plenty of scrambled eggs and plenty of fried tomato

Girl brings two plates of full English over with plenty of scrambled eggs and plenty of fried tomato

But it’s just… too much, isn’t it?

Not because it’s offensive or insensitive, such boundaries are rarely crossed in the swamp of ‘football banter’.

It’s just so extra, so busy, so… cringeworthy.

Liverpool fans accusing this bloke of obsession are entirely justified.

This is an isolated incident of course.

His actions are not representative of all United fans — in fact he’s seemingly been called out by just as many Mancunians as Liverpudlians.

But it begs the question, just how much should we hate our club’s rivals?

The absolute state of Barcelona v Real Madrid on the internet is almost unbearable

Getty Images - Getty
The absolute state of Barcelona v Real Madrid on the internet is almost unbearable

Most sane people would stop short of wishing death upon their rivals, despite what the keyboard warriors peddle.

Generally, supporting the other team in all of your rivals’ fixtures is an acceptable base level.

When they lose you should feel MILD satisfaction, nothing more.

If you gain more pleasure from your rivals losing than your own team winning, that’s unhealthy (and weird).

If you deprive the same amount of joy from the two scenarios then that’s a red flag — stay vigilant.

Trippier and Ozil’s faces here are everything

AP:Associated Press
Trippier and Ozil’s faces here are everything


Your rivals’ star player breaks his leg, properly mangles it.

Do you:

  • a) cheer, sing songs about his death, generally take delight in another human’s pain and distress
  • b) @ him/his loved ones/employers on social media, attempt to look cool and/or hard by encouraging other fans to take gratification from the suffering of human you don’t know personally
  • c) acknowledge that your rivals being without their best player is somewhat in your best interests while still holding a semblance of empathy for the individual in question (literally the trait of someone who isn’t a psychopath)

*Countdown clock flourish*

Well? Did you get it?

The answer is C — the only acceptable answer is C.

Generic rivals football image

Generic rivals football image

Another brainteaser…

Have you ever wanted to physically harm someone PURELY because they support another football team?

Not because they provoked you, that’s a slightly different situation.

If your answer is YES, your sole motivation for wanting to assault someone has ever been club loyalty, then we’re afraid to say you’re doing it wrong.

Banter (terrible word that it is) is fine, most agree on that.

The issue arises when someone mistakes banter for something more serious, or when someone mistakes something serious for a joke.

Or, as is the case with Ramos Kiev shirt man, you kill the joke by exerting an embarrassing amount of effort, therefore becoming the punchline yourself.

We all clear? Good, that’s sorted then.

The end

The end