Daniel Levy would offer you £4.99 for your last fiver.
In an age of over-inflated transfer fees and gargantuan wages it’s hardly surprising that Spurs have yet to make a signing this summer.
Spurs’ failure to secure naming rights on the new stadium hasn’t helped Mauricio Pochettino’s transfer funds, meaning Levy’s chequebook is safe and sound.
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The lack of incoming signings isn’t the only worry at The Yet To Be Officially Named Stadium this season.
Spurs have been quietly losing some of their most exciting academy products since the window started.
Not good, given Pochettino has built a reputation on nurturing promising youngsters into players capable of mixing it with Europe’s elite.
Reo Griffiths is the latest to fly the nest after moving to Lyon.
The 18-year-old scored 33 goals in all competitions for Spurs Under-18 side last season and was rumoured to be wanted by Barcelona and Real Madrid.
In the Under-18 Premier League he scored 27 goals, 11 more than Man United’s Mason Greenwood.
Keanan Bennetts followed the trend of English youngsters chancing their arm in Germany when he left Spurs for Borussia Monchengladbach in May.
The 19-year-old winger had been a promising part of Spurs’ Under-23 side last season but decided his first-team prospects were better in the Bundesliga.
He’ll join former Crystal Palace defender Mandela Egbo at Gladbach.
Noni Madueke left Spurs for PSV Eindhoven in July, despite offers from Chelsea and United.
Spurs had offered the 16-year-old a contract but Madueke decided against signing and will now try and break into PSV’s first-team.
Madueke had played for Spurs’ Under-18 side and was captain of the Under-16s, as well as representing England at the same age category.
This isn’t a new phenomenon.
Nya Kirby left Spurs for Crystal Palace last season and was part of England’s Under-17 World Cup winning squad.
The 18-year-old was called up to Palace’s first-team for the Premier League game against Spurs in February but was an unused substitute.
And there’s no sign of the exodus slowing down.
Marcus Edwards, who was (lazily) likened to Lionel Messi when he was coming through Spurs’ academy, is reportedly close to leaving the club for Bayer Leverkusen.
Can you spot a pattern emerging?