Blood, sweat and… milk.
The remnants of the Manchester derby strewn across the tunnel at Old Trafford.
Angry scenes after the full-time whistle in Manchester saw a brawl erupt as Man City jubilantly celebrated their derby win, at the home of their neighbours.
The ultimate disrespect according to Jose Mourinho.
It’s been described as a brawl, a war, a fracas, a fight but what actually happened?
With conflicting reports and gory stories flooding the press today we’ve got a handy guide to everything that has been exposed so far.
Firstly, let’s give you a brief run down of how things turned out.
City won 2-1 thanks to two Romelu Lukaku assists (more on his basketball skills later) and Mourinho was fuming that his side hadn’t been given a late penalty and Ander Herrera had been booked for diving instead.
The men in blue had Oasis blaring out of the boombox in their changing room as they cheered the win, that sparked an angry United squad led by Mou to go and confront them.
Cue utter mayhem in the tunnel and changing rooms.
Who do you think lit the fuse that caused the explosions?
None other than Mourinho himself of course.
As he went to remonstrate with Michael Oliver about the Herrera decision the City door swung open and he heard the City celebrations at full blast.
The Guardian reports that he zeroed in on Ederson Moraes and screamed at him in Portuguese before swapping to English shouting “you f****** show some respect, who are you?”
According to The Sun the United boss then addressed the whole team with the worst schoolboy insult he could come up with.
“Shut up, you haven’t even won anything yet,” Mourinho said, moments after City opened an 11-point lead at the top of the table.
As the melee ensued with players and staff from both sides replicating a scene out of Green Street, Lukaku apparently entered the fray like a ‘second row forward’ and began ‘slam dunking’ City stars.
We are not exactly sure how you slam dunk another human being but you get the drift.
Now we get to the juiciest details.
Poor Mikel Arteta was probably just standing their quietly trying to assist his players when, as the Times explains, he was hit in the eye with an isotonic drink bottle.
It is alleged the bottle came from a United player and left the Spaniard with blood pouring down his face.
City seemed to bear the brunt of the violence as another report suggested a United player threw a punch at one of the club’s physios.
We must stress at this point United deny any of their players threw punches.
While Mourinho was trying to unload abuse at anything wearing blue and breathing, he himself was subject to a carton of milk being launched in his direction.
Again, the assailant is unknown at this stage.
The Daily Mail published an enlightening graphic showing a raging topless South American centre back, yep you guessed it Marcos Rojo, leading the charge into the opposition in the tunnel.
The fracas last around two minutes but they managed to cram a LOT into that time.
Here’s a nice list of the key events for you take tell all your mates:
- City playing Oasis in the dressing room on full volume
- Mourinho screamed at the City players “Shut up, you haven’t even won anything.”
- Someone threw a bottle at Mikel Arteta’s head, drawing blood
- A City physio received a punch during the fray
- An unknown person threw a carton of milk at Jose
- Lukaku and Rojo were doing their best Elijah Wood impressions
- Vincent Kompany ‘lurched’ towards the United boss
There you go, clear as mud?