Playing football in return for loads of money.
To most of us it sounds like the perfect existence.
The life of a footballer seems pretty sweet, train in the morning, drive great cars and date incredible models.
But former Southampton striker Dani Osvaldo has given some of the only acceptable reasons for giving up a football career.
The self-professed fashion icon explained that he ditched kicking a ball to eat meat and drink beer.
I can see where he’s coming from.
Osvaldo, who also played for Juventus and Roma, added that during his time at Boca Juniors in Argentina he began to fall out of love with football.
His decision might have been made for him after he was sacked by Boca in May 2016 after reportedly being caught smoking in the dressing room by the manager.
He is now ‘focusing on his music career’. Right.
In an interview with Gazzetta dello Sport Osvaldo sheds some light on some classic tales for the annals.
“Do you want a laugh? In December 2016 [Jorge] Sampaoli contacted me, he was at Sevilla at the time,” he told the Italian media outlet.
“He said to me: ‘Dani, I’m not asking anything of you, you can do what you want on the pitch and off, but I need a striker’.
“I told him ‘but boss, there’s the Cosquín Rock festival!’. He said ‘I forgot! Go, of course, you can’t miss it’. Two crazy people!”
The colourful character also spoke about the famous clash he had with another fiery Italian Roberto Mancini which led to the striker leaving Inter.
“I threw a punch at him after that famous Juventus-Inter game – ‘Do you want a fight?’’ He said ‘Don’t tell me that in front of everyone’.
“If he hadn’t expelled me he’d have lost authority. Then I went to his office crying, I was ashamed. He’s a great Coach with a good character.”
Osvaldo has never been one for the quiet life.
Keep turning it up to 11, Dani.