There’s nothing like a bit of changing room japes to get you in the mood for a big game.
But Manchester City’s sounds like the last days of Rome, if Gabriel Jesus’ latest quotes are anything to go by.
The Brazilian forward has revealed some of the weird and wonderful habits of the City players, and some of it sounds truly bizarre.
Speaking on Brazilian TV programme ESPN Resenha, the City star gave away probably too much information about the camaraderie in the camp, and it all gets a bit weird very quickly.
1 Jesus once played the classic ‘I didn’t fart, you did’ trick with Fabian Delph
He’s still young, so it’s no surprise Jesus still does the whole ‘whoever smelt it, dealt it’ thing.
Jesus revealed he farted during a match but wanted to blame it on Fabian Delph.
So he got his stand-in translator, Fernandinho, to do his bidding, and pin the fart on the Englishman.
The TV cameras were there, picked up on the two Brazilians discussing it, and Jesus was left in the awkward position of having to explain himself.
2 He blames ‘whey products’ for his terrible flatulence
Jesus claimed in the show that Premier League clubs are obsessed with protein products like whey.
But he’s not taken too kindly to them, saying it just makes him fart all over the shop, saying the products are ‘bad for you’.
3 A youth team player shaves his whole body and shows a scar on his backside to everyone
Genuine translation from the interview here: “This guy shaves frequently in the bathroom, every time, he doesn’t have any body hair and he shaves.
“And he has this scar on his bum that he shows to everyone, it’s not people trying to see it, it’s him showing it.
“He was from the youth team and just got promoted. One day he was in the dressing room, then one guy noticed it and he showed it.
“But anyway he shaves every day, I guess shaving your leg is okay, but I think he shaves everything.”
The inquest begins as to who this mysterious figure could be…
4 Kevin De Bruyne basically spends his days swearing in Portuguese to Jesus
Not in a bad way, but it’s the only language they can really communicate with.
Jesus claims De Bruyne is the most ‘playful’ team-mate, but as he doesn’t speak Portuguese, he ends up just saying the words ‘porra, caralho’ to him.
Translated into English, ‘porra, caralho’ is basically our equivalent to saying ‘sh*t, f*ck’, and the idea of KDB just waltzing around saying that all the time is pretty peculiar.
What a weird, weird world football can sometimes be.
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