Goals win games. We know, we’re football geniuses.
But how much do those goals cost? Specifically, how much do 20 goals cost you across Europe’s biggest leagues.
We’ve fired up the laboratory and run the figures through our super computer to find how much 20-goal strikers were sold for in Europe’s top five leagues.
All players included were sold directly after scoring 20 goals in the Premier League, Bundesliga, Serie A, La Liga or Ligue 1.
Man United fans needn’t worry about Romelu Lukaku’s transfer fee weighing as heavily on his shoulders as his first touch under pressure.
In the grand scheme of things United haven’t really overpaid for Lukaku’s goals.
The last player to score at least 20 goals then be sold was Luis Suarez, who also went for £75million, while Gareth Bale cost a world-record fee when he left Spurs for Real Madrid.
So breathe easy, United fans. You’ve actually got yourself a bargain.
Ahh, the influence of the Chinese Super League. We’ve not even managed to get halfway through without mentioning the big money from the Far East.
While Robert Lewandowski cost Bayern Munich absolutely nothing the season after scoring 20 goals for Borussia Dortmund, the latest man to do so cost significantly more.
Anthony Modeste, who Blackburn fans will remember for scoring precisely zero goals during a loan spell in 2012, has joined Tianjin Quanjian in a deal that will end up costing around £25mil.
The 29-year-old scored 25 goals for Koln last season, earning his club a cool £1m for every strike.
Italy. The land of focaccia, Botticelli and Alessandro Del Piero.
Goalscorers tend to go for a premium in Italy, with Gonzalo Higuain moving from Napoli to Juventus for £75m having scored 36 goals the previous season.
Three years earlier Edinson Cavani also left Naples, costing PSG £55m off the back of a 29-goal season.
Sandwiched in between were two relative bargains from Turin.
Juventus’ Carlos Tevez cost Boca Juniors just £5m, while Torino’s Ciro Immobile cost Dortmund £15.5m. Who said there was no more value left in football?
Want value for money for a 20-goal striker? Don’t go to Spain.
Spurs got burnt when they signed Roberto Soldado from Valencia for £26m. Having watched him score 24 goals the previous season, Soldado then went and scored just seven times in two Premier League seasons.
There was a similar story with Alvaro Negredo, signed by Man City for £28m after scoring 25 goals for Sevilla in the 2012/13 season.
However there are success stories to be found. Diego Costa, the last 20-goal striker to leave La Liga, has driven Chelsea to two Premier League titles, despite doing his best to self-destruct at all times.
Radamel Falcao has also been a success following his £55m move from Atletico to Monaco, overcoming injury to rediscover his old form. Who can forget when he lobbed Willy in the Champions League?
France is the land of value when it comes to 20-goal strikers
It’s too early to comment on Alexandre Lacazette’s £46.5m move to Arsenal, but the signs are encouraging given he’s scored at least 20 goals in his last three Ligue 1 seasons.
Then we get to the bargains or, as the French would say, une bonne affaire.
Bafetimbi Gomis, who scored 20 goals for Marseille last season, cost Galatasaray just £3m, while Zlatan Ibrahimovic moved to Man United on a free fresh off the back of a 38-goal season.
Andre-Pierre Gignac scored 21 goals for Marseille and then decided to take up a Mexican adventure with Tigres, costing the Liga MX side absolutely nada.
All these numbers can be a bit confusing, so what do they actually mean?
In England and Spain 20-goal strikers have got cheaper, although Gareth Bale’s transfer to Madrid set the bar astonishingly high.
The best value for money can be found in France and Germany, while Italy has varied wildly through the last five years.
So there you are, chairman. You can send the cheques in the post.