It’s fair to say life in Manchester hasn’t quite lived up to Nolito’s lofty standards.
After the Manchester City forward, who was signed for a cut-price fee from Celta Vigo this time last year, made a barnstorming start to the season many were viewing him as one of the acquisitions of the summer.
The 30-year-old scored five times for Pep Guardiola by mid-October but then found the net just once again after he was gradually phased out of the team.
And, in some truly bizarre comments made to Spanish radio station El Transistor, Nolito has revealed just how much he’s struggled to settle in the city.
He said: “I want to leave. I haven’t played in six months. I will do everything possible to make Spain’s World Cup squad.
“I have learnt very, very little English – it’s very hard. Just ‘tomorrow’, ‘good morning’, ‘good afternoon’ and a little more.
“My daughter’s face has changed colour – it looks like she’s been living in a cave.”
Sure the weather can’t exactly match that of the Costa del Sol, but Manchester has its perks in its music and culture which the Spaniard clearly hasn’t bothered to really embrace.
Nolito is being linked with a move to Sevilla after he was spotted in conversation with their new sporting director Oscar Arias this week, but he has denied the meeting was for that purpose.
“I was just casually shopping for clothes for my wife in Seville,” he added.
“I went to get a coffee and bumped into Sevilla’s director of football casually.”
Yep, sure mate – we all believe you.