Turns out it would be too hot.
Some people are still getting over the news that the 2022 World Cup in Qatar will take place across November and December. WINTER!
Presumably the Premier League will be forced to take a break as we all gather round the fire with mugs of hot chocolate to watch England get knocked out on penalties in the quarter-finals.
This tweet neatly summarised the general reaction to the news:
But you know what?
We couldn’t be more thrilled at the news. And here’s why…
1 You can watch the Premier League any old time, this is a World Cup for God’s sake!
Chile v Belgium (perhaps the ultimate football hipster international) is infinitely better than Forest Green v Swindon Town – who will both definitely be Premier League middle table stalwarts by 2022.
2 Messi will be playing CDM
His knees would have packed in by the time he’s 35. Having already scored more goals than anyone will ever manage, Messi makes the natural transition from No10 to holding midfielder.
Somehow he still manages to bag 20 goals a year leading to the birth of a new position – ‘The False 4’.
3 It’s freezing outside, stay in and watch all of the football
We’ve all been there. The World Cup is on at the height of summer and outside you can hear people socialising and enjoying life. Meanwhile you’re inside on the sofa watching all the day’s games back to back, lounged on the sofa using your hand to eat ice cream from the tub before wiping it on the cat.
But if it’s winter then everyone will be inside. No screen glare, no guilt about wasting the precious few days of English sun. It’s going to be brilliant.
4 Office Christmas parties will be far more tolerable
Forget photocopying your a*** and going home with Karen from HR after one too many drinks, in 2022 there’ll be a World Cup to spice up office Christmas parties.
You won’t even have to make much small talk. Just keep your eyes on the screen and watch as Martin Odegaard steers Norway into the semi-finals.
5 Companies will have a meltdown over adverts
Do they advertise Christmas or the World Cup? Most will try and jam the two together resulting in comically awkward fifteen seconds bursts on your 100-inch television screens.
Assuming by then adverts aren’t being uploaded straight into our brains while we sleep.
Stick to the BBC’s coverage to avoid an annoying John Lewis advert about a snowman who overcomes adversity and learns how to do an overhead kick.
6 There will be a World Cup/Christmas hybrid song
Think ‘Vindaloo’ meets ‘Fairytale of New York’. Romeo Beckham, the biggest pop star on the planet, will record a duet with his mum that will stay top of the charts for a record number of weeks.
Sing it with us now: “Last World Cup we had a good start but the very next game we gave it away, this year to save us from tears we’re gonna need Kai Rooney.”
This was Blatter’s plan all along, what a visionary.