We love Mesut Ozil’s one in three good performances as much as the next man.
And, yes, we know he’s had a hard life and it’s a miracle he ever made it to north London in the first place.
But the brutal fact is, he’ll never be as revered by Arsenal fans as Robert Emmanuel Pires.
He just won’t.
Sorry.
And here’s why.
1 He chose THEM over Real Madrid
Unlike Ozil who had no other option but to trot up the Holloway Road, tail between legs, after Real had decided they had no further use for him.
And he was a boxfresh European Championship winner (where he’d set up the winner in the final, thank you very much), so he could’ve gone anywhere he wanted.
2 He could do assists
He got 15 of the buggers in 2001-02, handsomely more than any other man, woman or child.
3 But he could also do the goals
Volleys, chips, pennos, the lot.
He regularly hit double figures in the league, a feat Ozil has shown no sign of emulating.
4 He delivered when it mattered
Like that time he scored the winner in the 2003 FA Cup final.
5 Unlike Ozil who, well, disappears
6 Even when Bobby f****d up it was funny
7 He made his mate Thierry even better
In the Invincibles season, the pair of them contributed 57 goals between them. Which is not bad, really.
8 He squared up to Rooney once
And didn’t even back down when Roy Keane and Gary Neville waded in.
9 He was just as at home with the common man as he was with those haughty, French philosophical types
10 He’s still their top scorer in London derbies
With 7. Ozil has one, and it came in a defeat.
11 They voted him the sixth best player in their history
They really, really like him
12 He wore that silly little beard but somehow still looked cool
13 He looks good in leather
14 Mesut Ozil really doesn’t
15 Ultimately he’s Robert Pires