Before we get into this we should show respect to each and every player who has scored over 50 goals in the Premier League.
It’s an achievement of which they should be truly proud.
We’re lucky if we scuff in one goal a season at five-a-side.
As it stands only 92 players are part of the 50+ club.
And some quality players haven’t made the cut — Gareth Bale, Joe Cole, Cesc Fabregas…
The very nature of this article’s criteria means none of the players included are even close to being ‘bad’ but you may be surprised at some of the individuals who have racked up a half-century of goals in the top flight…
1 Steven Fletcher – 53 goals
The Scottish international has played more seasons of Premier League than you would think.
Always plugging away for teams in the relegation scrap (Burnley, Wolves and Sunderland), Fletcher passed 50 goals last season before being shipped off to Marseille.
2 Jason Euell – 56 goals
A diligent and honest forward who always put a shift in for his gaffer.
The problem was he just didn’t score enough goals and that ultimately hurt his reputation.
Essentially we’re calling him out for not having scored enough goals; we never said this logic was without its flaws.
3 Gabriel Agbonlahor – 74 goals
Through sheer amount of games played the Aston Villa loyalist has scored more Premier League goals than Eric Cantona, Gianfranco Zola and Robert Pires.
Surely one of the least composed finishers to ever grace the top flight?
He is quick though, well, he used to be…
4 Trevor Sinclair – 52 goals
Actually a very underrated midfielder who had the habit of scoring spectacular goals.
His bicycle kick for QPR in the FA Cup won Match of the Day’s Goal of the Season award in 1997.
Still, it is a slight mystery how he managed outscore Freddie Ljungberg.
5 John Hartson – 55 goals
Celtic fans will swear by the Welsh target man’s effectiveness but what he possessed in physicality he lacked in deftness of touch.
Hartson bullied his past 50 goals for Arsenal, West Ham, Wimbledon and Coventry but there was never really a Plan B in his locker.
6 Carlton Cole – 51 goals
Another who has limped past 50 Prem goals through volume of appearances alone.
For an out-and-out centre-forward his conversion rate is disappointingly low.
In 14 Premier League seasons he only reached double figures twice.
7 Lee Bowyer – 57 goals
Played out of his skin the season Leeds reached the Champions League semi-final but never managed to replicate that form in the 11 Premier League seasons that followed.
50+ goals but only one England cap to his name.
That probably says it all.
8 Kevin Davies – 88 goals
Only 34 players in history have scored more Premier League goals than Kevin Davies.
Just let that sink in.
Always near the top of the most fouled and most fouls committed lists, the Bolton forward was a walking free-kick.
His goal tally is a victory for hard-working target men everywhere, but not one for the purists.
9 Brian Deane – 71 goals
A goal machine for Sheffield United early in his career but largely a frustration for fans everywhere else.
Deane had a decent touch but his gangly demeanour and tendency to squander easy chances has left us wondering how he managed to score more Prem goals than Paolo Di Canio.
That’s your lot.
One final congratulations to all these players for bagging 50+ goals in one of the best leagues in the world.
It’s a hell of a lot more than we’ll ever achieve…