Scoring a Premier League hat-trick is as close to footballing perfection as you could imagine.
It’s the achievement all of us replicated in our back gardens as kids.
Romelu Lukaku scored the 300th hat-trick of the Premier League era against Bournemouth 25 years after Eric Cantona bagged the first for Leeds against Spurs.
The likes of Steve Watson, Jordi Gomez and even bloody Afonso Alves have scored triples in the top flight.
But these nine very fine players never managed it…
1 Harry Kewell
The Australian winger deputised as a forward in his later days with Leeds but never managed three in one game.
2 Paolo Di Canio
66 Premier League goals for the enigmatic Italian including 16 in one season for West Ham but alas, no hat-trick…
3 Craig Bellamy
The feisty journeyman has the third most amount of goals (81) out of everyone not to score a hat-trick in the Premier League.
4 Tim Cahill
A dedicated servant of Everton football club for eight years but no match ball to show for it. Still, a regular and reliable goalscorer for the Toffees from midfield.
5 David Beckham
Of course Beckham’s game was focused on assisting, as was the quality of his delivery from open play and set-pieces. If only three perfectly positioned free-kicks had fallen in the same game…
6 Lee Bowyer
Just like his Leeds team-mate (see entry one), Bowyer finished his career with 57 Premier League goals.
Never one to shy away from his defensive duties, it’s hardly surprising a hat-trick evaded him.
7 Niall Quinn
His partner in crime Kevin Phillips bagged a hatty during his Golden Boot season but poor Niall never got one despite his 59 Premier League goals.
8 Kevin Davies
88 Premier League goals is not to be sniffed at, in fact only 34 players in history have more to their name. Including…
9 Ryan Giggs
Arguably the greatest left-winger in history, Giggs is part of the exclusive Premier League 100+ goals club but much like Beckham on the opposite wing, three in one game proved too big of an ask. A minor (very, very minor) scratch on an otherwise gleaming career.