It’s the day after Man City played at home in the Premier League so of course we’ve got an Erling Haaland (£8.7m) hat-trick to discuss.
The prolific Norwegian bagged three goals for his third consecutive league game at the Etihad as Pep Guardiola’s side swaggered to a 6-3 win over neighbours Man United.
Anthony Martial (£3.1m) clawed back some dignity for the visitors with a late brace but the real story of the derby was the ease with which the hosts cut down their rivals, particularly in the first half.
Phil Foden (£5.7m) grabbed a hat-trick of his own with a magnificent display that would have been enough to earn him a Star Man award in virtually any other fixture but when you’re a team-mate of Haaland, the standard is set ridiculously high.
The 22-year-old assisted two of Foden’s goals to finish with five direct goal involvements, an effort worth a whopping 32 points.
We’re just seven and half Game Weeks into the season and Haaland has 153 points to his name – a tally bettered by only eight forwards last season come the end of the campaign.
He’s averaging 15.3 points-per-game and already has a 91-point lead at the top of the rankings.
Haaland has scored 17 goals and provided three assists in just 825 minutes of action – that’s a goal involvement every 41.3 minutes!
After eight fixtures, his tally of 14 Premier League goals is just nine shy of the total achieved by last term’s joint Golden Boot winners, Mohamed Salah’s (£7.7m) and Son Heung-min (£5.8m).
Naturally, eight games is the quickest time a player has ever scored three hat-tricks in Premier League history with the previous record being 48 appearances, held by Michael Owen.
Haaland’s current numbers are obscene but how likely is he to overhaul Cristiano Ronaldo’s (£5.5m) all-time record for most Dream Team points in a single season?
The Portuguese superstar amassed 477 points in the 2007/08 campaign by virtue of 42 goals, eight assists, and more Star Man awards than you could shake a Ballon d’Or at.
It’s a measure of the record held by Man United’s legendary No7 that no other player has ever recorded more than 400 points in a single campaign but the milestone is under serious threat because of Haaland’s incredible start to 2022/23.
City’s No9 needs another 324 points to match Ronaldo’s best-ever tally which, while extremely difficult, is feasible given there are 30 league fixtures still to fulfil plus European and domestic cup commitments.
Certainly, the 247 points required to become the second-ever quadruple centurion looks very achievable.
Haaland’s ability to plunder the necessary points is not in doubt but will his body hold up under the strain?
At the time the 6ft 3in forward looks more cyborg than man but the truth is he has rarely completed a full campaign in his professional career without suffering notable injury setbacks.
The uniqueness of this season, with the impending break for the World Cup, may help Haaland as he will have the luxury of a five-week break since Norway did not qualify for the prestigious tournament in Qatar.
However, history suggests City will have contend with a sidelining of their top scorer at some stage this term.
But with Haaland averaging over 15 points-per-game, he could afford to miss a few games and still Ronaldo’s record would be under serious threat.
In fact, if he were to maintain his current rate (admittedly an almost impossible task) he would surpass the five-time Ballon d’Or winner’s unmatched tally in 22 games’ time.
Watch your back, Cristiano, he’s coming for you.