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Statue to be erected after Nicolas Pepe dribbles past Virgil van Dijk

Plans are underway to erect a statue of Nicolas Pepe after his momentous achievement of dribbling past Virgil van Dijk.

The Frenchman ended the Dutchman’s streak of 50 games without being dribbled past just seven minutes into Arsenal’s game against Liverpool.

Such was the seismic achievement the score from that game has now been erased from football fans’ memories.

The cause of major tremors in north London

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The cause of major tremors in north London

Sculptor Lee Satchell explained: “We got the call from an excited Spaniard last night.

“He just kept repeating the same thing over and over again. NICOLAS PEPE. NICOLAS PEPE. F*** YOU VIRGIL VAN DIJK.

“To be honest I had no idea what he was on about. You could hear him dribbling down the phone. Then he calmed down a bit and gave us the order to build a statue outside the Emirates Stadium.

“There’s was a bit of an issue with payment because he’d spent all his money in the summer.

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“He said he’s got a German lad who’s willing to work for free because he’s got nothing else to do at the moment so we settled for that.

“They also tried to offer us a Brazilian worked but we were concerned about having him around all that heavy machinery because he’s not the most trusty individual.

“It’s not the first time we’ve worked with Arsenal. A couple of years ago we built a monument dedicated to net spend. Apparently it’s very important in that part of town.”

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