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Jose Mourinho admits he’s been using a bingo machine to pick centre-back partnerships

False 9: A bingo machine named Carvalho has been used to select Man United's centre-backs this season

Man United manager Jose Mourinho admits he’s turned to a bingo machine to pick his centre-backs this season.

Mourinho has used three centre-backs partnerships in four Premier League games this season, leading some pundits to claim he doesn’t know his best option at the back.

But the truth is actually far more simple, with Mourinho allowing a bingo machine to decide United’s fate.

A familiar picture

Reuters
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A familiar picture

Lee Satchell, an unofficial insider at the club, revealed more, saying: “Jose has realised that all his centre-back options are a bit shit so he’s letting luck decide.

“Initially he got Romelu Lukaku to throw darts at a dart board to decide which centre-backs he’d play.

“But that plan quickly fell apart when Rom kept missing the dart board. Ed Woodward got suspicious and started questioning why Jose was spending so much money on polyfilla.

“So now he’s turned to a bingo machine.

Gateway to Heaven, 27

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Gateway to Heaven, 27

“He loves it so much he’s named it Carvalho.

“It doesn’t really help anything because whoever Jose picks out will get destroyed by Glenn Murray.

“But at least it brings a tiny bit of joy to Jose’s life. That’s all he can really ask for at the moment.

“Sometimes he puts Diego Godin and Harry Maguire’s faces in there just to see what it would feel like.”

*SPOILER ALERT. ALL QUOTES IN THIS ARTICLE ARE MADE UP FOR THE PURPOSE OF A CHEAP LAUGH. FOR MORE FOOTBALLING COMEDY CLICK THE BANNER BELOW*

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