Chelsea have submitted a transfer offer for Sultan Kosen.
The move comes after failed bids for Andy Carroll, Peter Crouch, Christian Benteke, Ashley Barnes and Islam Slimani.
Kosen, 35, is officially the tallest living man in the world, standing at 8ft 1in.
He therefore fits Antonio Conte’s unrelenting desire to bring a tall target man to the club.
Unofficial club scout Lee Satchell explained: “We’ve tried every big target man in England but we just can’t get anywhere.
“Even Adebayo Akinfenwa has turned us down.
“So we’ve widened the net.
“The boss sent me on a scouting mission to Turkey to see Trabzonspor’s Burak Yilmaz and Kayserispor’s Umut Bulut.
“But as I’ve got out the airport at Istanbul I’ve only gone and stumbled upon this lad Sultain Kosen, who turned out to be the world’s tallest living man.
“I’ve sent a picture back on our WhatsApp group as a bit of a joke, but straight away Antonio Conte called me and told me not to let him out of my sight until he’d signed a contract.
“I tried to explain that he was a farmer and he’d never played football in his life, but Antonio was adamant.
“He started screaming ‘CROSSES’ down the phone at the top of his voice and then manically laughing.
“Hopefully he doesn’t pass the medical.”
*SPOILER ALERT. ALL QUOTES IN THIS ARTICLE ARE MADE UP FOR THE PURPOSE OF A CHEAP LAUGH. FOR MORE FOOTBALLING COMEDY CLICK THE BANNER BELOW*
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