Tony Pulis has become the face of Night Nurse hours after being sacked as West Brom manager.
Pulis was given the axe after four straight Premier League losses and no win since 22 August left The Baggies in 17th place.
But his selection of a five-man defence behind three defensive midfielders caught the eyes of Night Nurse execs, who have moved quickly to snap him up.
An unofficial spokesman for Night Nurse, Lee Satchell, explained: “We just couldn’t pass up on this golden opportunity.
“This is a man who has masterminded a spell of 105 goals in 106 Premier League games.
“Numbers that would put even the fiercest insomniac into a deep snooze.
“We’ve spoken to plenty of West Brom fans and they’ve given us a glowing review when it comes to his ability to put people to sleep.
“We’ve also got a range of Night Nurse x Pulis merchandise coming out.
“It’ll be full adidas tracksuits and a selection of peak hats. Maybe a towel, if you’re in the mood for headbutting James Beattie.”
“We’re not sure how long we’ll have him for though, given he’s being liked with the Wales job.
“But when he starts benching Gareth Bale for Hal Robson-Kanu and playing Joe Ledley, James Chester and Ashley Williams in midfield we’re sure he’ll be back with us in no time at all.
“Keep your eyes peeled for everything Pulis and Night Nurse. If you can keep them open, that is.”
*SPOILER ALERT. ALL QUOTES IN THIS ARTICLE ARE MADE UP FOR THE PURPOSE OF A CHEAP LAUGH. FOR MORE FOOTBALLING COMEDY CLICK THE BANNER BELOW*