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'I WANT THEM ALL'

Neymar will stay at Barcelona as long as they sign the entire Brazil squad

The 25-year-old wants Barcelona to sign the entire Brazil squad and Roque Junior just for good measure

Neymar has demanded Barcelona sign the entire current Brazil squad, as well as Roque Junior, if he’s to stay at the club and reject PSG.

It had been reported that Neymar wanted Barcelona to complete deals for Brazilians Paulinho and Philippe Coutinho, however this appears to be wildly off the mark.

The 25-year-old actually wants all 22 members of Tite’s current squad, while he’s also keen Barcelona sign Roque Junior, who he grew up idolising.

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Neymar’s idol (left) scoring with a typically flair finish

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Neymar’s idol (left) scoring with a typically flair finish

Portuguese translator, Lee Satchell, explained: “There used to be loads of Brazilians at Barcelona to keep Neymar happy.

“The club even started signing people like Douglas, who might have been Brazilian but played football like he was from San Marino.

“But then they all realised there was more fun to be had elsewhere.

No wonder Neymar isn’t happy with Barcelona’s latest signings

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No wonder Neymar isn’t happy with Barcelona’s latest signings

“Paris is the place to be these days. They’ve got Thiago Silva, Marquinhos, Lucas Moura and Dani Alves. Basically all the lads.

“Now Neymar wants Barcelona to sign everyone from the Brazil squad. Willian, Douglas Costa, David Luiz- the whole lot.

“Barca have the money but they can’t persuade Roque Junior to come out of retirement. He said that the only club he’ll come back for is Leeds.”

So that’s that then. Neymar is off.

*SPOILER ALERT. ALL QUOTES IN THIS ARTICLE ARE MADE UP FOR THE PURPOSE OF A CHEAP LAUGH. FOR MORE FOOTBALLING COMEDY CLICK THE BANNER BELOW*

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