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Arsene Wenger reveals plans to sign Santiago Munez from Real Madrid

'We were all watching Goal on the bus home from the cup final and Arsene saw him and instantly wanted to sign him'

One of Arsene Wenger’s main transfer targets this summer is Santiago Munez, an inside sauce has revealed.

Unfortunately Munez isn’t a real player, and is actually the star of the Goal film series, but everyone is too scared to tell Wenger that he’s got it wrong.

When your 25-1 acca that you put 25p on comes off

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When your 25-1 acca that you put 25p on comes off

Arsenal’s head of putting the flags on corner flags, Lee Satchell, revealed that the transfer move has all come about in the wake of the FA Cup win against Chelsea.

Satchell explained: “The lads always watch a movie on the bus home after a game.

“Everyone was so excited after the Chelsea win that we wanted to put something really special on. You know, make an event out of it. Get the popcorn out. No expenses spared.

“We had to chose between Borat and Goal 2, and it was a split vote. But Rob Holding had the deciding vote, and went for Goal 2, which really annoyed Nacho Monreal.

Never get between Rob Holding and Goal 2

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Never get between Rob Holding and Goal 2

“So we’ve started watching the film, and this lad Santiago Munez is playing for Real Madrid, with David Beckham, Ronaldo and all the rest of ’em.

“Wenger was off in his own world, listening to a bit of The Beatles- he loves bands with four member- but he’s started to tune into the film.

“He’s seen the football scenes and thought we were watching a documentary. He’s looked up right as Munez stuck one into the top corner from his own half.

A ‘top, top top player’

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A ‘top, top top player’

“Before anyone could explain that it was a film he was straight on the phone to Harry Redknapp, asking if he’d ever heard of him.

“Obviously ‘Arry has stitched him up and told him he’s a top, top, top player.

“Now Wenger has sent the scouts out to Spain to look at him and won’t take no for an answer. It’s an absolute shambles.”

*SPOILER ALERT. ALL QUOTES IN THIS ARTICLE ARE MADE UP FOR THE PURPOSE OF A CHEAP LAUGH. FOR MORE FOOTBALLING COMEDY CLICK THE BANNER BELOW*

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